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thirty-one

"can't believe that we're starting our own family" javi said, hugging me from behind, I smiled at him, and I continued to drink my milk.

"xav, anak, milk!" tawag ko kay xavier, I want him to be taller than tyler kaya pinapainom ko siya ng gatas and ng vitamins. Pero hindi pa siya bumaba, so I looked at javi,

"pakidala naman kay xav, please?" I asked, he nodded and kissed my cheeks.

I rubbed my small bump and smiled, yung pagbubuntis ko kasi kay Xavier, hindi ko na-enjoy. Syempre, I was in high school, I was young, I had to take classes at home para maiwasan yung bullying, tyler wasn't helpful at all. I was forced to be in a relationship with tyler, ang mindset ng parents namin na, matututunan naming mahalin isa't isa, the day I turned 18, my parents wanted tyler to marry me. But the night before our wedding, tyler cried to me and said na may mahal siyang iba, which didn't bother me at all.

This time, I am at the right age, stable ako, javi's always here. I don't know kung ano pang kulang sa buhay ko right now. Wala na akong hihilingin pa.

"I promised you that i'll still take care of you xav, hindi magbabago yun" I heard javi's voice talking to xavier.

"even if i'm not your real son tito javi?" xavier asked, his voice small and full of doubt.

"even if you're not my real son, my love for you is real." sagot ni javi, xavier nodded and smiled.

"drink mo na milk mo, magagalit si mama nyan, kasi diba gusto niya mas matangkad ka kay tyler." biro ni javi kay xavier, xavier nodded and drank his milk.

"I love you tito javi, thank you." sabi ni xavier, naiiyak ako,

"bakit si tito javi, may I love you, si mama wala na?" I asked, joining them, javi smiled at me, and pina upo ako sa side ng bed na malapit while umikot siya para umupo sa kabila.

"I love you mama" he said na parang napilitan lang, I smiled, I know mahirap kay xavier lahat ng changes, especially, mabilis. Magkaka-anak si tyler kay andi, ako naman kay javi, ai know he'll feel like maleleft out siya.

"you're mama's baby forever." sabi ko, xavier smiled and hugged me.

"sali ako!" javi said, hugging me and xav.

We waited until xavier fell asleep, his kwento's making my heart swell with joy.

"can I sleep here?" I asked javi, he nodded and inurong ng onti si xav so may space for me.

"san ka?" I asked him nung kinukumutan niya na kami.

"here" sabi ni javi, naka-higa siya sa sofa, I smiled.

"hi baby, this is daddy, and this is kuya xav." I heard javi whisper, I can feel his breath sa bump ko.

"hello, I hope you're a girl, kasi may brother na ako sa kabila" xavier said, trying to whisper. I kept my eyes close,

"wag masyado pahirapan si mama okay?" javi said, rubbing it gently.

"we love you baby!" sabay nilang sabi, I heard xavier giggle.

"okay, ligo na, baka malate ka for class." sabi ni jabi kay xavier, xavier kissed my tummy before jumping off the bed. I opened one eye to see javi getting xavier's uniform and placing them sa sofa, he also fixed xavier's bag.

I closed my eyes nung paharap na siya sa akin, I felt his lips on my forehead and itinaas pa niya yung kumot lalo.
I opened my eyes when the doors were shut, I smiled at xavier, naka boxers lang siya and sando, his hair still wet.

"I love you xav, you're so big na." sabi ko, xavier rolled his eyes.

"mama, it's early pa" sagot sa akin ni xav, kumunot ang noo ko.

"bawal ba mag senti pag umaga?" I joked, he nodded and wore his uniform na, without my help.

"mama loves you forever." sabi ko, standing up para tulungan si javi sa baba, he just nodded and styled his hair.

I smiled to myself, konti nalang may binata na ako, and it breaks my heart, but at the same time, I'm so excited for his journey.

"mama" he called out before I close the door, sumilip ako. He was staring at me through the mirror. I raised my eyebrows

"I love you the most."