thirty-seven

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"you got to look good today." I said with a smile, javi nodded letting me fix his tie.

He shaved and even bought a new suit, his long hair in bun, I smiled and kissed his cheeks.

"you look lovely mahal." javi said, placing his hands on my waist, as we stare into our reflections.

"we gotta look our best for javiell" javi said, kissing my cheeks.

"you look gwapo" sabi ko, wrapping my arms around his neck, he smiled.

"I love you javi" I said, he was driving papunta sa cemetery, where we'll bury javiell.

"I love you so much xavie" javi said kissing my hands. His eyes were focused on the road, I was wearing a white dress, and flat shoes, javi in his newly bought suit.

"hello mama." sabi ni xavier, he was also wearing a suit, even tyler, andi in a dress, I smiled and hugged andi.

"sorry, we couldn't give you a playmate right now little tiger" sabi ko, letting the babt hold my finger.

"next time." sabi ni andi, I wiped my tears and let go.

"hello sis." sabi ni ricci, in his polo shirt and shades, I smiled when he hugged me.

"okay lang, ninong pa rin ako" ricci assured me, kissing my hair.

"hi ate xavie" mara said, ricci let me go and walked papunta kay javi, mara hugged me.

"we love you ate." sabi niya, and then jaime and jordi also hugged me. I kissed their foreheads kasi nakayuko sila.

"don't grow up too fast." sabi ko, jordi laughing.

Tita anna and tito bert were also in formal attire, kissing my cheeks and placing a hand on my shoulder.

"ready?" javi asked, xavier by his side, I nodded.

We stayed for a bit after the ceremony, nakaupo kami sa damo, javi holding my hand tightly.

"Javiell, I named you after daddy because I think you look a lot like him, from his hair to his nose, we miss you princess, daddy would've spoiled you, your tito's were ready to protect you love, but I guess the world would be too cruel and we might not be able to protect you at all love. Mama loves you so much, mama will always think about you love, protect us javiell." I whispered, my fingers tracing her name, written on the tombstone, sumandal ako kay javi. He smiled at me and ran his fingers through my hair.

"princess, thank you for bringing our family closer. Daddy will always imagine you, your first words, your first steps, your first day at school, your first everything. I love you so much darling, I didn't know that I could love something this much. I love you so bad javiell, and thank you for making me feel what its like to be dad even for a short amount of time. I will miss you forever darling, four months was short, but I know you tried your best to fight little love. We all tried so hard, but it wasn't meant to be, we love you so much javiell, my little angel"

We watched the sunset, I stood up and extended my hand to help javi, he held my hand tightly while we were walking towards the car.

"can we move javi?" I asked, he looked at me before starting the car.

"house?" he asked and I nodded.

"too much pain" sabi ko, javi nodded and kissed me.

"okay love, whatever it takes for us to heal" he said.

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