Come into the Water

chapter thirty one

I hadn't realized that I fell asleep, which was usually how it went. I couldn't recall falling asleep. But as I woke up, I was tucked neatly into my bed and under the warm covers. Jasmine was next to me, sleeping soundly as ever. I wondered if she was even breathing for a moment, but I realized soon after that she was but very lightly. The TV light flickered in the background, annoying me well enough. I groggily and grumpily narrowed my eyes at the nearly blinding color, my eyes not adjusting soon enough. I found the remote, shutting the TV off, and tossing my legs over the bed.

The clock read that it was two in the morning. I sat on the edge of the bed, trying not to let the dread of the previous night sink in. And having to pee, I made my way to the bathroom. I was just in a disheveled t-shirt, messy hair everywhere, and shorts that I slept in. My feet dragged with each step, that being the only sound I heard in the apartment. The dead silence made me uneasy.

I figured that Silas and Aries still weren't home yet. And as much as I tried not to care-I did. This wasn't one of those things that I could pretend that didn't exist. My heart sank into my stomach. It had been hours. I wanted to respect that Aries needed space, but I still felt uneasy not knowing if he was getting himself into trouble because of me. And I wanted him home, with me.

I used the bathroom, glancing at myself in the mirror briefly as I washed my hands. I was observing myself, my neck in particular, but noticed someone behind me in the mirror. I didn't flinch, my eyes looking up and at Aries' reflection in the glass. He leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed. He was wearing nothing but a plain black tank top showing off his toned arms as he flexed without even trying.

I shut off the running water and spun around, nearly scared that it was just my mind playing tricks on me. But it wasn't. Because when I turned around, I was looking at the demon with my own two eyes. My lips parted slowly as I felt at a loss for words. I wasn't sure what to say or where to start. What was wrong to say? What was right to say? How was I supposed to break the ice?

His gaze couldn't get any more intense than it already was. He was penetrating my soul with just his eyes. He wasn't even trying and he was nearly intimidating me. I was sure it wasn't his intention at all, but I still felt the way that I did. I suddenly felt like the girl I was when I first stepped into the apartment-cautious yet horny. But we needed to talk. Talking was important or so I had been told. In the past, I hadn't been the best at communication. Upset? Sex. Sad? Sex. Angry? Sex. And sure, sex was great. I would certainly fuck him later but after we spoke. I needed to use my words for once and better.

"How are you feeling?" He finally asked, easing my nerves a little.

I sucked in a breath, tucking my arms behind my back. "I'm fine. I was worried about you."

His eyes shifted away from my face. He stood up straighter, nodding once. "I don't know how to deal with this. I don't know how to not-" He cut himself off, shutting his eyes tightly as if the words were acidic as they came up his throat. "-I don't know how to not want to murder Lucifer. I don't know how to see you in pain. I don't know how to feel like this isn't my fault."

I frowned. "It's not your fault, Aries. You had no idea what he would do."

"I know that, up here," he tapped the side of his head. "But, here," he pointed to his heart, "where my metaphorical heart would be if I were human, I don't. It's hard to trust logic. I don't know how to be logical in this situation because I've never been so emotionally invested in something where my judgment is skewed."

"It's okay," I told him softly. I was hesitant, but I still walked closer to him. "I get you completely. But please don't push me away right now. I don't like to admit this to anyone. But I need you right now. I need you, I need Silas, I need Jasmine-I need Lila." I tried not to get choked up but I still did. I really needed to call Lila.

He nodded slowly as my words fell over him. "I understand. I can't let my guilt overpower being there for you." I smiled a little up at him, wanting to ease the frown on his face but it never left. I cupped his face, brushing my thumb against his cheek as I stood on my toes to reach him. He sighed out in delight from just my touch and pulled me closer, pressing our palms together before entangling our fingers shortly after. "You have me and Silas. Always."

I nearly felt myself melting. "Where is he?"

"His room. He wanted to wake you to let you know that we were back but decided against it. We thought it would be better if you rested."

"Well, I'm feeling much better now," I admitted. "Not all the way though."

"I wouldn't expect you to," he murmured.

"You know that you don't have to treat me any different right?" I asked. He didn't say anything. "I still like to get choked," I nudged him softly. He sent me a hard glare. I let out an awkward laugh. "I'm sorry. That joke was in poor taste."

"It definitely was," he mumbled, shaking his head. But at least he let out a small chuckle, letting me know that my Aries was still in there. He sobered up quickly, nearly frightening me by just how serious he seemed. "l-I think that-I-Um-"

"What?" I scrunched up my eyebrows in confusion. He didn't respond, further driving my curiosity. "Are you broken?"

He let out a slow sigh. The look on his face told me that whatever he said next would be serious. I worried that he would tell me that he was leaving or that he wanted me to leave. Or worse even, something with Lucifer. I wasn't sure I could handle it but I still wanted to know.

"I...I love you," Aries muttered, not looking at me. "But it's not like a big deal, I love a lot of things. You just happen to be one of them."

I paused for a moment. He loved me? I wasn't expecting for that to come out of his mouth at all. I tried to ignore the weak feeling in my knees. This was big, big news. Aries, the playboy incubus, admitted that he loved me. How was I supposed to stomach this? I already knew deep within the depths of my heart that I loved him-no questions asked. But how was I supposed to stomach him loving me too?

I looked at him, but he seemed to be avoiding all eye contact as his nerves got the best of him. I knew it was because it was new for him, he wasn't used to this. Hell, I wasn't even used to this but this was way more normal in my world than his. He was an incubus after all. I was more than sure that he had never even been in love. I couldn't help myself, my lips forming into a small smile.

"Name one thing that you love," I teased, crossing my arms.

He looked down at his shoes, digging his foot into the floor. "Silas..."

I giggled, finding him completely and utterly adorable. "Silas is the only thing you love besides me?"

"And sex," he said swiftly. "Don't forget sex."

"Yes, how could I forget the sex?" I rolled my eyes with a small scoff. Typical. "So, you love me, Silas, and sex? That's not much is it?"

"It is for a demon," he stated. "This is all new and different for me. I fucked to stay alive, it's what I was made to do. Demons don't really fall in love. But for some reason, I fell in love with you. I don't know."

I smiled, my heart warming. I bit down on my bottom lip, butterflies in my stomach. Everything was going to change the moment I confirmed my feelings for him, I knew that. But I couldn't help but feel as though it would be worth it. I looked up right into his warm eyes, urging him to look at me. "I love you too."

He met my eyes, his eyes softening before they hardened again. He looked away once more. "Don't be sappy."

I giggled. "I'm not being sappy."

"There you go again," he groaned. "Stop."

I nuzzled into his arm. He wrapped an arm around me, kissing the top of my head. I smiled softly. "I should probably get back to bed," I told him.

He frowned a little but he nodded. He let go of me slowly. "I think you should too. Goodnight, Natalia."

"Goodnight," I gave him a brief nod and smile before returning to my room. I climbed into my bed, almost believing that I were dreaming. But it was real and I was on cloud nine. But I couldn't help but feel that if Lucifer wasn't pissed before, he would definitely be pissed now.