Want You Back | c.h.

2.

2018

Emerson hated the cold. She always had and probably always would. Calum had always hated the cold too. His Australian blood never quite adjusted to even the mild winter's LA was accustomed to. He would hate it here in New York, where she had taken up residence most recently.

It was annoyingly stupid how often her thoughts still drifted to Calum. He had been her first love though and she wasn't sure that kind of scar would ever fully heal. Part of her would always hate him for what he'd done to her. For making her choose between her own life and loving him. She was open about her feelings with it, even to her new boyfriend Kyle. Kyle was kind and considerate. He understood her and her career, he was a chef himself. He understood that sometimes late nights in the kitchen were necessary and other plans just had to wait, something Calum had always been bitter about.

Calum had been selfish, controlling, and always had placed his own career above hers. They'd been younger then though, both still in the midst of discovering their own selves. She was leaving for culinary school and his band had started to truly make a name for themselves, he'd wanted her to sacrifice her own dreams and come with him but she had worked too hard for that and so she had walked away.

She had moved on. She had started fresh in a new city, with a new career and the same goals she had always had. To become a chef, to make a name for herself in the culinary world, and to own her own amazing restaurant.

She was well on her way to many of those goals, something she would have never had if she had stayed. She was building the life and career she had always wanted for herself and that only helped to solidify in her mind that she'd made the right choice two years ago.

At twenty two, she was a rising star in New York City, a place known for its abundance of amazing restaurants and notoriously known as a hard place to make a name for yourself in the food industry.

She was doing it though, she'd earned a place as the sous chef to Cesare Casella, the best Italian chef in the city. He'd taken her under his wing and she was determined to take in everything he could offer her for as long as he wished to serve as her mentor.

"Babe? You ready? We gotta go!"Kyle called from just inside the front door of their apartment.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." She grabbed her chef coat from its place on the rack rushing from their bedroom out to meet him. He swung the door open for her and she stepped through into the hallway of the rundown apartment building. As much as she and Kyle both loved their jobs, the pay wasn't fantastic so they'd sacrificed luxury for location and ended up in their small one bedroom just a few short blocks from each of the restaurant's they worked in.

When they reached the bottom of the stairs Kyle  leaned over pressing a chaste kiss to Emerson's lips, whispering his love for her before dissolving into the mass of New Yorker's who crowded the streets, headed in the opposite direction as she.

She sighed as he disappeared from her view and she hurried off towards her own workplace. She arrived a few minutes early and took a moment longer than usual to set her things up just to give herself a moment to breathe.

Just as she finished readying her knives to begin the prep for the day Cesare entered the kitchen.

"Hello Chef." She greeted politely.

"Hello Emerson, how are you?"

"I'm well. I heard our reservations are slammed for tonight."

"Booked solid with a waiting list." He agreed.

It wasn't uncommon for the restaurant to be in high demand. Cesare was world renowned and folks came from all over to sample his cuisine.

"Don't worry Emerson." He said his Italian accent thick and rich. "You always worry but you are great chef. You cook my food as well as I could myself. If tonight goes well I think it is time we had a talk about your future endeavors."

"What?" She rushed out her heart beating violently in her chest.

"All good things Emerson. All good things. Let's see how tonight goes."

Emerson only nodded and went back to her station grabbing her to do list. She assigned the line chefs and other staff to their duties and then began settling in to a comfortable routine as she began her own prep.

What did he mean by discuss her future endeavors? Did he want her to leave? Did he want her to take over? Her mind swirled with the boundless possibilities and she tried her best to fight her racing thoughts off and focus on her work. It was a dauntless task however and she found herself feeling flustered and distracted throughout her entire shift.

By the time closing rolled around she felt incredibly wound up. She cleaned and packed away her knives before going in search of her boss.

•

Calum peered our at the scenery of his homeland and raised the flimsy plastic cup to his lips. It was nice to be back home in Australia, even if only for a few days.

The show tonight was sure to be massive and the ARIA's were tomorrow. Were the ARIA's viewable in America? Would she be watching?

He knew these kinds of things shouldn't still cross his mind but he couldn't help it. He had loved her so, he still loved her so.

He downed the rest of the amber liquid from the cup and tossed it in the bin on the back porch of his family's home. Turning on his heel he ventured inside falling on the couch beside his sister who'd made the trip in from London just to see him and catch up.

"Hey buddy." She whispered reaching her hand up to scratch the top of his head. He leaned into his big sister's shoulder and she fixed her attention on him.

"What's wrong?"

"What's always wrong?" He asked and Mali immediately read the situation. This was about Emerson, it was always about Emerson.

"Calum, you've got to stop this. Either chase the girl down and show her you still love her or move the fuck on, but this unhappiness you're living in isn't formidable. I can't keep watching you torture yourself over her. I want my happy brother back."

"You don't understand Mal."

"Explain it to me then." She demanded.

He wracked his mind for the right words to describe everything he felt for the only girl he'd ever loved.

"She was perfect Mal. She deserved so much more than I could give her and yet she still chose me. I was selfish and greedy and demanding and she took all of that and gave me every piece of herself. She cut herself open to stop me from bleeding. She burned herself out trying to give me what I wanted. She gave and gave and gave to me and I just continued to take until she had nothing left to give. I deserved to have her walk away from me and I didn't realize it until it was too late."

"Have you told her all that?" Mali asked, and Calum stopped to think. He'd never even really attempted to contact her afterwards. Her exit from his life had been so hasty and seemed so final. He'd been too consumed with his devastation to even consider going after her. By now it was probably too late.

"If you've never told her what you just told me, perhaps that'd be a good place to start."

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