Emerson couldn't believe she could let herself be so stupid. She ran to the elevator and frantically pressed the down arrow begging the doors to open before Calum could follow her.
How could she do this? How could she reopen all these old wounds. It was so obvious that Calum hadn't moved on but she had. She had someone else's feelings to consider and she'd ignored that for the opportunity to be with Cal again.
It was cruel, both to Calum and to Kyle.
The doors slid apart and she stepped into the car feeling her stomach sink as it descended to the lobby.
She'd cheated on Kyle. She was one hundred percent sober, one hundred percent conscious of her decision and she'd still done it.
She didn't know what to do. She couldn't go back to Calum but she didn't think she could go home either.
Home. Kyle would be home by now, his dinner shift ending at midnight. He was probably wondering where she was. What would she tell him?
She needed a plan, she needed an excuse, she needed to undo her actions the past few hours.
She made the walk home alone, shivering slightly from the chill of the New York February air. Her large coat doing all it could to protect her from the bitter cold.
When her apartment building came into view she felt her throat tighten and her lungs ached as she struggled to take in oxygen.
She was panicking in major fashion.
She closed her eyes and tried to focus on calming her heart rate as she moved inside and began to shed her layers. With every step closer to her home she felt the weight of her indiscretion fall harder upon her shoulders.
Kyle was good. He was kind, compassionate and decent. He was all of those things and more that made him an ideal boyfriend. He understood her. He knew what it took to be a chef of a restaurant to this caliber. He didn't question her late nights or constant need for a taste tester who could distinguish what made one version of a dish better than another.
When put on paper Kyle had everting she could possibly want. The problem with relationships is that they exist in the real world and not on paper. Sometimes the one you want, is not the one you need.
She had these thoughts as she arrived outside her apartment door. She clutched the key in her hand and tried to garner the energy she would need to enter through the hunter green painted entrance and face her boyfriend.
Should she tell him? Should she keep it from him?
She had hoped that by this point she would have a plan and yet here she stood, on the cusp of throwing away the past year of her life, though in reality she guessed she probably already had.
With a final cleansing breath she pushed the door open and allowed herself into her home.
"Kyle? You home?"
"Yeah babe, just out of the shower! You're late, were you guys busy?"
"Um, not really. We had one big group, some musicians playing in town this weekend. Otherwise we were pretty empty."
"Aw, well don't beat yourself up darling. Your foods amazing, people will give it a chance and it's going to turn into everything you dreamed it would be, just give it some time."
She wanted to cry right then. Kyle was so kind. So, so, kind. How could she have done this to him?
"And hey, maybe the musicians will post about your place and it'll draw a crowd. Try to look on the bright side darling." He swept her up into his arms and pressed a loving kiss to her forehead.
"I'm beat, babe." She said. "Think I'm gonna hit the showers myself then get some shuteye so I can do it all again tomorrow."
"That's the spirit. I don't imagine I'll be far behind you love. I'm gonna catch up on sports, I love you babe, goodnight!"
She pecked his lips and headed towards their bathroom, hoping he couldn't taste the betrayal on her lips.
She spun the tap and adjusted the shower head, allowing the water to heat up as she undressed from her clothes. She smelled of olive oil and Calum and she was ready to wash away this day.
When she was naked she stepped under the hot water and finally let herself fall apart.
She'd slept with Calum. Her Calum. The boy she had always thought would chase her. The boy she'd been so sure would be her forever. She wanted to be ecstatic but she couldn't. Because in her act of selfishness she'd hurt not one but two amazing men.
If Kyle were to find out he would be devastated and Calum's complete misery had been etched across his face as she had fled his hotel room as soon as she had dropped the news of her boyfriend on him.
Her sobs were covered by the steady sound of the water falling from the shower head, her red eyes however, would not be. If Kyle asked she'd blame her tears on her continued issues at the restaurant. It was feasible and he wouldn't question her, of that she was sure.
As the droplets of water cascaded down her body she couldn't help but picture Calum's fingers tracing over the same skin only hours before. The water was nothing compared to his touch.
She ran her hands through her hair and tugged on it trying to decipher wrong from right and the somewhere in between that she found herself now.
It didn't matter what she did, someone was going to be hurt.
When twenty minutes later she still had no real plan for how to right her wrongs she decided the best thing to do would be to sleep on it.
She ended the stream of water and grabbed a fluffy towel from the rack, wrapping it around her body and reaching for another for her hair. She glared at the girl in the mirror, looking back at her and wondering who the hell she thought she was.
She slid on her underwear and pajamas, exiting the bathroom and heading straight for her side of the bed she shared with Kyle.
She rolled onto her side and desperately begged for sleep to come and take her away from the nightmare that her life had become. The nightmare she had created for herself when she let the boy, with the beautiful brown eyes and the spot that would always be his in her heart, take her back to his room.
An: how do you think Emi is handling it? What about Cal? We'll see his aftermath next!
What are your predictions?
Vote and comment!
I'm on thanksgiving break until next Monday so all my stories should be getting updates!
Check out Paper Parachute and my other works if you haven't!
I love you guys!
Sav 🖤
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Want You Back | c.h.
FanfictionHe'd loved her. She'd left. But he would always want her back