Want You Back | c.h.

17.

"This is nice." Emerson offered as Calum held the door of his penthouse apartment open for her.

Calum went to respond but was distracted by the pitter patter of small paws on hardwood floors. He tried not to be offended when his small furry friend ran straight past him and into Emi's outstretched arms.

"Hi, Duke! Hey, buddy!" She squealed as the pup jumped excitedly, licking her face and begging for her attention. "Did you miss me, Duke? Huh, did you?"

Calum leaned against the door frame, watching intently as she pet and played with his dog, the sounds that had been missing from his home and life for so long finally once again filling the air.

"Would you like something to drink? Water, coffee, wine, beer?"

"I think this is probably a good night for wine." She replied, standing to her feet with Duke tucked under her arm and following behind him to his kitchen.

"White Zin still your favorite?" He asked, pulling the bottle he'd bought that morning from the side pocket of his refrigerator. 

"Um,yeah, it is actually." She said, raising her eyebrows in surprise that he wold remember. He nodded and poured her a large glass of the light pink liquid, handing it to her before grabbing himself a White Claw from the fridge drawer.

Emerson chuckled and he looked up at her unsure.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just thought only girls and frat boys drank those."

"They're good!" He said defensively.

"I'll just have to take your word on that." He led her out of the kitchen and through the large apartment to the living room. 

As she sat Duke squirmed in her arms and she set him down allowing him to snuggle in between she and Calum in the open space they had left separating them as they took their seats on the couch. 

"So," Calum started, trailing off.

"So," She mocked.

"Sorry, I just don't know where to start. The first time we didn't really get to do a whole lot of talking and then everything kind of went to shit." He cracked open his drink and took a long swallow.

"Yeah, you can say that again."

"I'm sorry I didn't send enough money to save your restaurant."

"I don't know if there was enough money in the world to save that restaurant if I'm being completely honest." She raised her glass to her mouth, the sweet wine making her insides bubbly as it went down.

"Why do you say that?" He questioned her.

"There was a lot of competition in the area. I still have a lot to learn in the world of advertising  and while I think our food was good, I don't think we had anything special to draw people in or to make them come back. I don't know, sometimes these things just happen. It's a tough industry."

"Don't be too hard on yourself, Emi."

"I'm trying not to be but it's been hard. My own restaurant is something I wanted my whole life and it was just - gutting - to fail at that opportunity."

"You'll try again though won't you?" He asked her. 

"Someday, not right away, I think I need to gain some more experience."

"What kind of experience?" He pressed, the wheels of his brain starting to turn. 

"In a perfect world I'd have like a safe space to just try thing, new recipes, new flavors, new presentations to a large group of people and just have them give me their feedback so I could get better. I haven't figured out how to make that happen yet though, so for now I'm just stuck at this new place."

"You'll figure it out, I know you will. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help."

Silence settled between them as Cal tried to think of how to approach the subject he had really brought her here to discuss: them.

"It's so nice out, we should move this outside, enjoy the nice weather." He said letting his eyes drift to the wall of windows that made up the rear of his home. 

She quickly agreed and they stepped out onto the terrace, Duke on their heels, and took seats on the swing that overlooked his view of LA.

"So, how are the other boys? I've really only spoken to you, well and Luke that one time." She said sheepishly looking away, remembering the embarrassment she'd felt when he'd told her to leave. 

"Um, they're good, I guess."

"Luke's new girl, is she good to him?" She asked.

"Yeah, she's great. You'd like her. She's helped him a lot."

"Good, he didn't deserve what he got with the last one. The last one I know about anyways."

"Yeah. Luke has Si, Ashton has KayKay, Michael has Crystal, and I've got no one." 

"Why?"

"Jesus, Em." He says raising his forefinger and thumb up to squeeze the bridge of his nose, determined not to let his feelings overtake him. 

He looked over to find her staring puzzled back in his direction. Was she really that oblivious?

"Emerson, I never got over you. I thought I had made this clear, we talked about this months ago. It's you or no one for me. I get that I fucked up when we were kids but that was years ago and I want to show you, to prove to you, how much I loved you, how much I still love you."

"Yeah, but Cal, I still want to be a chef. You still want to be a musician and if we were to ever try again the same problems would arise. I just don't know how this would work. If we ever tried again I don't just want to repeat history you know?"

"I get that I do but-"

"Where would I fit into your life Cal?I know how you are, you need constant assurance and intimacy and I can't give that to you from LA while you're out globe trotting. I'm not trying to blame you or your job or anything I just don't think our wants line up. I think it would be foolish, irresponsible even to convince ourselves that our issues are resolved and won't just rear their ugly heads again. I don't know if either of us could survive that again."

"We don't leave for another tour until September. I mean I have to attend some promotional events and such but nothing more than a week at a time. We could try it out, I could use the time to try to fix those issues. We could see if we even are still good together or if time has painted everything with rose-colored glasses."

"If our night together in New York is any indication we are still very, very good together."

"So don't you think that knowledge is worth a shot?"

His question hung in the air for a moment. Every inch of her wanted to scream 'yes' and let herself fall into the fairy tale ideal she wanted to believe in.  She'd always been a bit of a realist though, a good compliment to his idealism. 

She searched until she found his eyes, their warm chocolate color melting her heart until she was a puddle for him. Even her best reasoned thoughts lost their meaning as she looked into his eyes.

"Fuck it." She whispered as she reached for the collar of his shirt, pulling him into her and pressing her lips to his.

AN: Woo an update!!!!

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ILY

Sav