Want You Back | c.h.

6.

The late January air was immensely cold. The snow that had yet to be melted or shoveled lingered on the walkways and made them slick.

Emi walked along next to Calum, the cold making it hard to hide the fact that her breathing had hastened.

They walked along in silence until she finally angled herself slightly towards him and admitted, "I'm nervous."

He sucked in his lip slightly and released it, looking over to her and admitting he felt the same.

Calum looked upwards, the tall buildings around him suddenly making him feel very closed in. He knew he needed his, hell, maybe they both needed this if they were ever going to move on.

"How did things get so bad between us Emi? One day I thought everything was fine and the next we were fighting constantly and then you were just, gone."

She was quiet for a long time not knowing exactly how to put what she wanted to say into words.

"I loved you Calum. I loved you so much and so big that sometimes it terrified me. I was scared of losing myself in you and when I felt that start to happen, I think that's where all our problems began. It was a long time coming and I was unhappy for a while before I left. You were so busy and I know it was for your career, I'm not faulting you for that, but ultimately, you weren't able to give what I needed and I had to choose myself."

"I—I don't understand." He said.

"You didn't seem to then either." She smiled sadly. "Calum, how long did I talk about culinary school?"

"I don't know, as long as I had known you, I guess." He said, scrunching his face, obviously not seeing where she was going with this line of questioning.

"Exactly. Becoming a chef for me was like becoming a musician for you, except you had contemplated doing other things, where I never had. It's the only thing I've ever wanted to do. You remember the day I got my acceptance letter?"

"Yeah," He laughs. "You screamed so loud the neighbors came to check on us and you ran around the house like a child."

"I was so happy, so proud of myself, you said you were proud of me too." She couldn't look at him as she said the last part. Her chest was already aching and she didn't know how much more of this conversation she could handle.

"There's a coffee shop on the next block, it's off the beaten path and it's a twenty-four-seven place, we'll be able to talk in there." She gestured ahead and he lifted his chin to show his agreement.

As they walked she tried to gather her thoughts, she wanted to explain, she wanted him to understand what she'd done, but she also wanted him to know that she had been broken afterwards. The pain from leaving him almost too much to bear.

When they reached the coffee shop, Calum reached around her, grabbing the door and holding it open so she could enter. She approached the counter and ordered her favorite coffee, a peppermint blend they only carried a few months out of the year. She ordered for Calum too, a black dark roast. He stared at her from his spot beside her and she wondered what he was looking at.

"Take a picture it'll last longer." She said, offering him a soft smile.

"I'm just surprised you still remember what I like." He said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"You act like you think you're easy to forget, you're not."

"No, just easy to walk away from." Every word from his lips felt like a knife straight through her heart.

"You're not that either." She said shoving past him to grab her coffee from the the pickup area.

She took a seat at a corner booth next to the window and waited for him to join her. He did so only moments later, the awkwardness settling between them again.

She sipped at her coffee and looked out the window at the mostly vacant street just outside the glass.

"What was it like for you, after, you know?" Calum finally asked breaking the silence.

"Horrible." She said blowing out a breath. "I stayed in a hotel for about a week, I didn't have anywhere to go. I cried every day for weeks. Then, I got approved for an apartment and moved out here early. The space was good for me, I was surrounded by places and things that held few or no memories of us and it helped me to distract myself from the constant pain. Don't think it was easy for me Cal, it wasn't."

"Wasn't easy for you? For you?" His anger is clear in his face and voice. "I didn't leave the house for days. Ash literally had to come pick me up off the floor." His voice broke and he looked away bringing his hands up to shield her view of his face and she knew he was crying. He hated dealing with his emotions especially publicly.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and took the risk of sliding her hand across the table to cover his.

He didn't recoil, instead flipping his hand over so their fingers were intertwined. She couldn't fight the feeling of how natural it felt to slip her fingers between his, how natural it felt to be here with him.

"I still love you." Calum's admission was enough to draw the air from her lungs.

How? After everything. It had been years, how could he have hung on for this long?

"Calum, surely there's been someone else? You've been around the world and back."

"I tried once." He said, coughing to clear his throat. "She wasn't you." He shook his head and lifted his eyes to meet hers.

"Calum, I'm—I just don't know what to say. I—I think I should go. I'm so sorry." She lifted herself quickly from her seat rushing out the shop.

Calum followed her on instinct. He hadn't chased her once before and he'd spent two years regretting that.

"Emi, wait!" He ran as fast as his feet could carry him, reaching for her wrist and using it to turn and pull her to him.

Before she could protest he crashed his lips to hers. His hands cupped her cheeks as he tried to show her how much he needed her, how sorry he was, and how much he wanted to fix this through only their lips.

She tensed at first, but didn't push him off and he took that as a sign to keep going. After a moment she began to move her mouth in sync with his. His fingers moved upwards to tangle in her hair as her hands dug into his shoulders.

"My hotel's only a block away. Come with me? Please?"

There was something in his voice, desperation or love or maybe a mixture of the two. Whatever it was she couldn't force herself to say no. She knew she should, but as he tugged her hand and led her towards his hotel what she should do was the furthest thing from her mind.

An: so now what? 😎

Vote and comment!

Ily
Sav 🖤