Open Up My Eager Eyes

Chapter 16

I went home straight after that encounter with Vic in the parking lot; I was so flustered after that. I knew that I would have to brace myself for what was bound to happen. I didn’t know that much about Vic but I know that he wouldn’t back down just like that. He’s more stubborn than a ten year-old kid, he would do anything that he can just to get what he wants.

I sighed deeply to myself as I slumped down to our couch. My mind is a mess and I am jobless. I haven’t told Sam yet and I know that she’d flip off when she finds out but, fuck it. She’d have to understand. I would just tell her about how Vic was bugging me, leaving out the other details about our little make out sessions from the past. She doesn’t need to hear about those.

Flicking the channels through the TV, I felt so pathetic. I never envisioned myself to be sitting in an apartment, jobless, without a back-up plan stored in mind. It felt like all those long and hard work in school, trying to keep my grades afloat was suddenly swirling down the drain. Then again, if I would just sit around, wallowing in self-pity, nothing good would pave my way. Without even second guessing, I got up from my seat, grabbed my box from the office and went straight to our room. I needed a Plan B.

Interests? Hobbies? Other skills? I was prying my brain for what I was capable of doing, thinking of other jobs that would suit my capabilities.

I liked music and not to sound all too proud of myself but, I’m a pretty decent singer. I sang and played the piano in our local church back in my hometown. I could also draw but I consider it as just some hobby. I knew I wasn’t that good. Other people kept on telling me otherwise but I just kept on shrugging off their mindless praises.

Aside from those two, I am pretty good with all the generic intellectual shit. I was a straight-A student and that should come in handy when looking for a job, right? I didn’t spend half of my life, studying and getting top grades for nothing.

With all doubts set aside, I got changed to a decent button up shirt, not too fancy but just clean and decent, tidied my hair a bit and grabbed my resume that was lying beneath the box and in a matter of a minute, I was driving back on the road, looking for a job. This should be a long day.

--

I ended up asking every single coffee shop in the city if they were hiring unfortunately, none of them were looking for a new person. I was so frustrated after my sixth attempt and I just wanted to go home and crawl under my blankets, hoping that sleep would help in making me forget about all the mishaps that were happening to me. I also tried knocking on some music stores but none of them would budge in taking me.

I felt so helpless. I knew all too well that I should at least have found one job before heading back home. I didn’t want to have another argument with Sam. Lately, our arguments had been happening quite frequently. But the thing is, at the end of every day, we still manage to fix whatever is bugging us.

I was strolling at a park holding a cup of coffee in one hand and a lousy sandwich in the other when a flyer taped on a lamp post caught my attention. I scanned the lazily posted paper and just my luck, they were looking for someone who could serve in their establishment and at the same time, someone who could do some acts during their open mic nights. It was perfect! I’m sure that I am capable of cleaning up some tables and serving drinks and all that stuff plus, I’ve always been so passionate in doing music.

I was going to grab the paper and take it with me when I saw the name of this bar, PTV Bar. Great, just great. Out of all the places, it just had to be this one. I was so desperate and I knew that that was my last resort but I left my decent job to stay as far as possible from Vic. Taking the said job in their bar only means that I would be spending almost the entire day with him since he would most probably be there 24/7.

“You should take that.” A voice almost made me jump away as the person startled me, snapping me away from my contemplations. I spun around and saw a tall guy with big, adoring eyes also noticing a green Penny board on one hand. I knew I met him in the same bar that Vic owns but I just couldn’t scout my brain for his name.

“This? Oh, no no no, I just- I can’t.. I was just curious and I saw it and-“

“If you needed a job and an opportunity like this lies in front of you, you should take it. There are a lot of people out there looking for a place with a good pay and trust me, Vic would pay you generously.” He said with a sly smile. He looked so friendly and shy at the same time. But when his words registered in my brain, I suddenly gave him a curious look. How did he know that I needed a job?

“I own the music store a couple of blocks away.” He said as if he was reading my mind. “I’m sorry that we couldn’t take you, though. I just recently hired someone so I basically have enough employees for now.”  I didn’t know how to respond so I just nodded my head, looking down at the pavement.

“So.. Think about it.” The guy, who I haven’t figured the name just yet once again spoke, breaking the awkward silence lingering around us. “I think that Vic would take you, without a doubt.” With a final nod and a smile, he fled off, riding his board. It’s a shame that I couldn’t remember his name. He’s too friendly and I wasn’t even able to thank him for whatever.

I was still contemplating and a large part of my mind was telling me not to get involved with Vic ever again but my hand mindlessly grasped the flyer, folding it neatly and jabbing it in my back pocket.

--

“Are you out of your mind? Why would you do that, Kellin?!” For the thousandth time that night, Sam asked me the same question but I just couldn’t bring myself to tell her the truth. You couldn’t blame me though.

“I just-“

“You just what?! You messed up? People in the office were making fun of you? Your boss hates you? You don’t like your job?” She threw me all these questions but I just shrugged my shoulders, looking down on my lap. I was so embarrassed that I was the one in our relationship who seemed so useless when actually, I should be the one working my ass off for us to survive.

“Kellin, if you would just keep on dodging my questions, we wouldn’t be able to sort this mess up!” She was really fuming and there was nothing that could stop her mouth from shouting. “Kellin!”

“Dammit, could you just shut up for just one second?” I said, burying my face to my palms. If she would just keep on nagging and shouting, I wouldn’t be able to think for myself.

“What did you just said?” She asked in a lower tone, making me look up to her direction.

“Shit. Sorry, I’m just so stressed and I don’t know what to do right now.” I said as I stood up, approaching her and was about to engulf her into a hug when she raised her hands to my chest, stopping me.

“Could you even hear yourself, Kellin?” She asked, looking me directly in my eyes. I once again shrugged my shoulders, trying to read through her lines.

“I’ll be staying in my friend’s house. Once you’ve realized about how much of a different person you’ve become, I’ll come back.” She said, pushing past me and heading straight to the room.

“What? Sam, wait don’t do that!” I called after her, following suit. She angrily grabbed a bag and started filling it with her clothes. “I know we could sort this out. Please, don’t leave.” I pleaded as I tried to pry the bag off from her grasp.

“We’ll sort this out once you’ve started sorting yourself first.” She coldly said and kept on stuffing her bag with her stuff.

“Sam, please.”

“I just need some time away. And it seems like you need some time on your own, too.” She said as she zipped her bag, not even bothering to look at me. I felt awful and disgusting. How could I even ruin our perfect relationship? I was so selfish and I couldn’t hate myself more.

“I’ll see you when I’m ready.” And with that, she left our apartment. She left me standing in the middle of the room, feeling like a total fuck up who just lost everything thing that I had.