Mae's POV:
"This is kinda crazy, it's insanity. Cursing and cussing, the language I speak, profanity. All alone, yeah, that's my reality. All fucked up, that's my mentality. Can't take all this hurting, brutality. Fuck all y'all, that's my personality." I mumble and look at the sky.
The light blue is closer to the murky water. The moon barely shows through the dark blue at the top of the sky.
"Can I sit here?" Mimi's voice echoes behind me. I nod and see her sit beside me, our legs dangling from the bridge. "I know that was a lot. In jahseh's house."
I nod my head again. "It was."
"Are you going to take him back?" she asks.
"I don't know, yes? No? I'm really confused." I explain.
"Understandable. But he is not good. He's a bad person, Mae."
"Well duh." I retort.
"Why do you defend him?" she asks.
"I'm so used to it. It's like my defense mechanism. Automatic response. I don't know how to turn it off."
"Oh..." is all she says.
"Yeah."
"Coping mechanisms." she blurts. "That's what it is. Not a defense mechanism. You're coping with whatever the fuck he did to you, besides what I know he did. You need help, Mae. We aren't enough. You need real help. You need to tell someone so that he'll never be able to hurt you again."
"It will always hurt, Mimi. What he did.... it will always hurt. I can never ever be 'normal'. I wake up every morning, wishing I didn't wake up. I cry myself to sleep at night because I don't know how else to go to sleep. I don't sleep very long anyways because of the night terrors. I want to be dead all the fucking time. Do you know how that feels? To be miserable all the time?" I ask, almost almost whispering. she shakes her head lightly. "It's like doing homework, seven days a week, every week, for a long time, but 1,000,000 times worse."
"Mae, I'm sorry. This is why you need therapy." she says and I shake my head.
"I'm not going. It won't help." I refuse.
"I had a dream. I got everything I wanted." Mimi starts singing softly. "Not what'd you think and if I'm being honest, it might've been a nightmare. To anyone who might care. Thought I could fly. So I stepped off the Golden, mmm."
"What is this song?" I ask, tearing up.
"Billie's." she hums as if it was apart of the song.
Mimi has a beautiful voice. Soft and raspy. Both cold and warm at the same time.
"Please keep singing." I lay down and she did. She continued that song and I felt myself slipping from reality, falling in to the best sleep I've had in ages.
•°•°•°•
Soooooooooo,
Favorite Billie song?
And how are y'all today?
Okay
Cool
I luhh youuuu
Bye you whores 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♂️
YOU ARE READING
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Fanfiction"Alright. You can be mad." Lucas stands up too. "But, what your not gonna do to tell me how I need to talk to my girlfriend. You sure don't have room to talk Jahseh." And with that last sentence, Jah punched Lucas in the face. "Oh shit." Ski stands...
