Saturday // Peterick Oneshots

50. Confession

This is how my brain interpreted "Bob Dylan" when I listened to it on repeat at midnight last week. A good amount of angst. Can be either current era or AB/AP era, cause I know that's when the demo was originally recorded. There's references to shady behavior, so if infidelity bothers you then don't read.

Pete knows he looks like puppy, watching Patrick record on the other side of the glass. He can't help it. Patrick's one of the only people in this world who truly gets him, and hearing him sing his words back to him always does weird things to his insides. It doesn't help that this is at least the twentieth take he's done.

They're alone in the studio now. Andy left an hour earlier, not without giving him a concerned glance.

"This one's about him, isn't it?" he asked quietly, watching him through the glass with Pete.

Pete nodded. He didn't say, "Most of them are." Andy already knew.

Andy put a hand on his shoulder. "You know he's probably never going to realize it, right?"

Pete scoffed. "Why do you think I wrote 'come down from you holy mountain'? I'm basically asking him to pull his head out of his ass."

"And you know it's probably best if he doesn't?"

Pete remains silent.

"Don't stay out too late. You might say something you don't mean to," Andy warned.

Pete knows he should listen to Andy. Being around Patrick too much makes him want to slip back into bad habits, despite everything at stake. It's not just the band, it's not even their partners and their kids: it's their friendship.

Pete thinks he could recover if he lost Meagan due to his own stupid behavior. It's Patrick he can't live without.

That's where the song came from in the first place. A final confession before he tried, once again, to bury his feelings for good and protect his friendship.

Patrick bites his lip, brows furrowing as he tries to figure out how he wants to do the next take. Pete's heart skips a beat when Patrick glances at him and smiles.

It didn't work, obviously.

Pete closes his eyes. God, he's tired. He should've left with Andy. He could've beat Patrick back to their hotel room and gone to bed and not have to worry about how hopelessly in love with him he is. Then again, he doesn't want to leave Patrick alone in the studio; he would sleep here if he's left unattended.

"Pete? You with me?"

Pete starts. Patrick's standing at his side. "Sorry, what?"

"I think I've got all I can for tonight, so I'm going to start packing up. I'm assuming you're ready to go back to the hotel and get some sleep?" There's a teasing gleam in Patrick's eyes, and a small smile playing at his lips as he speaks.

"Hell yeah." Pete grins sleepily. "I'm gonna sleep well tonight after listening to you sing like that."

Patrick blushes. "I'm going to grab my bag, then we can go."

Pete doesn't stop himself from staring after him. He watches Patrick's face as he, supposedly, goes through a mental checklist of everything he needs.

"Alright, I'm all set." Patrick smiles and shoulders his bag. "Ready?"

Pete nods.

They call a ride and wait in the foyer of the studio. Outside it rains, and the soothing noise only adds to Pete's tired state.

"You know I don't like to invade, but I've been thinking about this one a lot," Patrick says, staring out of a window at the street. The sun had set; the lamppost lights reflect off Patrick's cheeks, making him glow.

Pete blinks. "What?"

"Seems to me like it's a love song and a break up song wrapped up in one." Patrick shifts, pressing his back against the wall and looking at Pete directly. "That's not unusual for you, but. It's been bugging me."

Pete makes a noise that could mean anything, because he's caught off guard and doesn't know how to respond to that.

Patrick frowns. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm good," Pete says as calmly as he can. Patrick continues staring at him. "It's about you."

Fuck.

Patrick rolls his eyes. "Ha ha, very funny."

Pete swallows, looking down at his shoes.

"Wait. You're not joking?"

Pete shakes his head. "No. No I'm not."

Patrick lets out a sharp breath. "What?"

"It's about you, okay?" Pete sighs, straightening up and dragging his hand down his face. He should've listened to Andy. He's too tired for this. Fuck. "A lot of them are, actually. And I told myself this was the last one."

Patrick stares at him.

"I don't know what to tell you, Trick," Pete says. His chest hurts. "I've loved you forever," he adds quietly.

Headlights shine through the windows.

Pete walks towards the door, feeling hollow. He grips the door handle and opens the door for Patrick. "I'll call another car. You go ahead, I'll give you time to get a different room or-"

"Don't be stupid," Patrick interrupts. He looks like he startled himself by speaking. They lock eyes, then shift their gazes elsewhere. Patrick grabs Pete's wrist with a loose grip. "Share the damn ride with me," he says calmly.

If Pete hadn't looked at him, he wouldn't have seen how scared Patrick looks. He can't bring himself to argue. "Okay."

Patrick holds onto his wrist the entire way to the hotel.

They're silent. They're silent in the car, they're silent in the elevator, they're silent as Pete unlocks the door to their room. Pete's ears ring. He might jump out a window.

The door shuts behind them. Pete wants to make a run for his suitcase so he can change and go to bed and they can pretend this never happened.

"Pete? Can you turn around? Please?"

Pete closes his eyes. Takes a deep breath. He turns around, and says "Yes?" as gently as he can while he's scared shitless and tired.

Patrick stares at him, expression blank except for his wide eyes.

Then. He reaches out and grabs Pete by the collar. Patrick pulls him into a soft kiss. Pete stops functioning altogether.

Patrick backs away, looking even more terrified than before. He clears his throat. "'No one ever thinks of you, no one ever thinks of you as much as I do, not, not even you.'" He grins, but it's shaky. "I guess it goes both ways, huh?"

Pete nods. That's all he can manage before he's stepping closer to Patrick, pinning him against the door, and leaning in to kiss him again. Patrick melts against him and doesn't hesitate to kiss him back.

It's such a bad idea.

But...they tumble into bed knowing the risks, knowing they love each other more than anyone else in the world. And when Patrick falls asleep on Pete's chest later that night, hand splayed on his stomach right above his bartskull tattoo, Pete thinks it might be worth it- that they might make it through this.