Feelings Are Stupid

The Package Deal

I don't like how sad the first two parts of this journal(?) ended up being so I am moving forward in my life.  It's my journal I can do what I want, who said I had to go in chronological order? So this masterpiece you're all reading right now is going to be about how I met my best friend. We're going to name her Claudia. (If you're reading this hehe)Before I even start telling how I met my best friend ya'll need some background info.  I was and still am to this day sadly attracted to boys I can't and won't ever have a chance with.  I mean even if Jesus himself came down to earth and performed a miracle for me, it would still somehow fail.  At this time I was 17 years old and in eleventh grade. I had a huge, HUGE crush on this boy from my math class, and I was worried it was way obvious that I was crushing hard so in my favorite English teacher's room I turn over to this random ass girl and ask if she could tell who I liked based off my spam posts on my instagram spam account.  I knew who this girl was slightly because one of my good friends at the time was "talking with her" fast forward two weeks I end their relationship and we give him the nickname satan.  ANYWAYS this girl goes to my spam that night and says it wasn't obvious, but after I told her it was this boy she said it was pretty obvious.  We slowly start texting on instagram dm's and then snapchat and eventually text messages and FaceTime.  To be honest it still surprises me to this day that we became friends.  Like the only thing that caused our friendship was my self inflicted anxiety and now we are inseparable.  Crazy how things work in life I guess.  We weren't best friends obviously from the start, that took time to build and develop. I'd say though within a month we hit it off completely.  She wouldn't ever call me a best friend because she didn't ever do labels, but even with only a month on our belt she became my best friend.  Honestly soul mate (platonically) Now I am twenty and we are as close as ever.  We have had approximately three or four fights ever in our friendship and they have been mostly over stupid shit I would say or my personal inner struggles with losing her (even though now I know I couldn't ever lose her unless I did something really stupid)  What kind of friendship can you have that have only had three or four fights in three years of friendship. (I won most dramatic in school so I can get into some lengthy fights) Someone gave us the nickname package deal and still to this day we are.  One and the same... mostly. 

Love you Queen

xoxo Kurtis