Feelings Are Stupid

-I Love My Best Friend's Brother-

Yeah just by the title you know this one is going to be a lot.  It all started when my best friend, Claudia got her little brother a job at the same pizza shop we both worked at.  The little brother at the time was getting pretty cute... working out and what not helps lol.  I never was really close with him... we will call him Dallas.  Eventually we would all start hanging out after work, and we created a trio called Mel's fam... then more recently our group's name is called Kinky Gang.  Well anyways I am getting off track.  Dallas and I would never hang out without Claudia also being there.  I would always joke around how he was my straight boyfriend... and then straight husband to piss Claudia off.... well joking around created some feelings that I really didn't need.  Once I quit the pizza shop I figured our friendship as a trio would end, but we started taking trips to other towns and cities around our area together, and our friendship grew and with friendship growing also meant my feelings for him were being more prevalent.  Over this past summer I finally opened up and told Claudia that I liked her brother... like ALOT.  That took a lot for me to say because her and I made this pact that she would not date Sydney if I didn't date her brother. The only thing that would stop our friendship would be if I fell in love with her brother... well I did and I needed my best friend to vent my feelings to.  I even had a mental breakdown about Dallas on FaceTime with her... without her knowing why I was having a mental breakdown.  I couldn't tell her because I didn't want to end things between us.  Well after my feelings were weighing me down everyday I couldn't bare not telling them to her.  I told her and she thought I was joking at first, but I then compared my feelings to how I felt about Sydney.  I said my feelings were more intense for Dallas then Sydney and that made her realize I was serious.  It created and awkward silence for awhile, but we put on sad music and cried our feelings out some... it was still weird for awhile, but she got used to me loving him more than I should.  She knew nothing would happen because he is straight and I am gay.  Well now as you all know Claudia is at college and Dallas is home... I started hanging out with Dallas more because I missed her and Dallas and Claudia are so similar its crazy.  Then we started to hang out almost everyday, and I would pick him up from school, and now he is more than a crush for me, he's a second best friend.  I love him as a best friend, and as the man of my dreams HAHA (Sorry Claudia if you read all of this)

xoxo Kurtis