Sounds So Sweet - Ticci Toby X Reader

Chapter 28

After you lost your appetite, you made your way to your handy kicking bag. It swung lightly, so you steadied it to ready yourself for a workout. Each time you collided with a punch or kick, you flashback to a gruesome image. Toby, Jeff, the kid back in freshman year high school, all the terrifying moments in your life. With each memory, you gained more power, more anger. At one point, you were kicking the bag so hard, it was slamming against the wall. Anger naturally rose to frustration, resulting in you collapsing. Tears streamed down your face, nothing could satisfy you anymore. You were filled with anger, upsetting thoughts, and just frustration. There was no room for anything else, no moment of tranquil...other than the times you were kissing Toby.

His face flooded your mind, the way his shaggy, brown hair swept in front of his honey brown, sparkling eyes, complimenting his pale skin in such a way that made your heart churn. His laugh and his smile also had a similar effect on you, for he looked so...dare you say...cute?

No, a killer? Psh, as if. You only kissed him for the sole benefit of your life...but didn't you want to die?

You grab at your hair, god, everything was so confusing for you. Ever since you got here, life seemed to get worse and worse, because now you didn't want to die. You would have spells of suicidal thoughts, but they came around in particularly stressful moments like the ones you had killing Toby, or any situation around Jeff. It confused you, how could someone completely ignore and move past years of mental illness struggles? It didn't seem normal, but then again, nothing you had ever done seemed normal.

"Whatchya thinkin about, murderer?" it was him, again.

His laugh tugged at your heart strings, but the sentence definitely ripped out a part of your soul. You weren't a killer. You felt more tears brim your eyes, so you lower your head into the arms secured around your knees. Your body shook as sobs controlled your body, no sign of stopping anytime soon.

"Seriously? Killers like us don't cry..." Toby's laugh turned awkward, "...I-uhm. Why are you even crying? I didn't do anything!"

You could not formulate a single sentence, as the sobs only grew stronger. Wow, you hadn't had a breakdown like this in a while. Eventually, you felt the feeling of panic rise, your chest closing in on itself. You couldn't really breathe, and even though your eyes were closed, you saw static brimming the corners. Honestly, if you passed out, it would be much better than being conscious. Maybe you wouldn't have to talk to Toby.

Mustering out two words, you tell him to "Go away."

Toby immediately freezes up. Why did your voice sound like you couldn't breathe? Between each word, you took in a wheezing breathe, and it didn't sound right. He rushed down next to you, and rubs your back. He isn't sure why, but it seemed like the right thing to do. Perhaps it was the caring side of him he pushed away, but he couldn't let you sit here like this. It hurt his heart.

Meanwhile, his touch sent you into a scarier place. You flinch, and cower back into the wall, behind the bag hanging from the ceiling. His hand felt almost toxic to you, and you reverted back into freshman year, similar to your situation with Jeff.

A/N : Scenes of sexual assault from here on! Please be aware, more  will follow the scenes so my readers can carry on!

That boy touched you, and kept touching you. His hand wouldn't leave your back, even though you tried to squirm out of his grasp. Your friends looked at you, laughing, thinking it was a joke. You looked over to any one of them, worry and pleading filling your eyes, you hated this. Your body was frozen, stricken by uncertainty. All you could do was try to switch seats, offer to tag team with friends to the bathroom or to get more drinks, but all he did was get closer. He pulled you in for a dance, you know the one, that tango one that everyone drunkenly dances with friends with, yea. The one in which you're close to the partner, and have to look anywhere but at him, answering the small talk questions when they arise.

Your chest rose quite quickly, and the world turned dim. You wanted to leave, you wanted to get out. The dance finally ended, and you try to leave, but he pulls you closer. Your friends wave goodbye as he pulls you towards his car, and you can do nothing but fear. His hand still rubbed your back, keeping you steady so if you tried to run, he'd easily pull you back.

END SCENE:

You relived every single excruciating moment as further scenes unfold, and once you're brought back, you're face to face with Toby. He's giving you a weird look, and almost places a hand on your arm, still resting on your knee, but retracts it after you flinch again.

You were still crying, still trying to regain the breath you aren't receiving. He seemed worried, but you didn't care. You didn't know this thing, he was just another scary face to you. With his stupid headgear, and this stupid place, everything here was stupid. You wanted out. You wanted to die. God, why couldn't you die? More tears streamed down your face, and you push yourself further into the corner of the room.

You hear Toby leave, and part of you relaxes. You loved the comfort of being alone. Nobody but you could try to hurt you.

Within a few minutes, you hear Toby return, and he drops a few items. You hear rustling, like he was making a bed. The simple sounds kind of calmed you, as you could focus on the sounds rather than your thoughts. When the rustling stopped, you heard him get closer to you. He poked your elbow, and you look up. He's holding his hand out, and you hesitate. What if he tried to crush your hand again? You shake your head, so he sighs and puts his hand down. Toby decides to pick you up, much like he did that day with Jeff, and places you on your bed. He crawls in the other side, and pulls the blanket up to your shoulders. He snakes a hand around your shoulders, pulling you close.

"I stole this from BEN for a bit, so we can watch something funny." he pulls out a tablet, and puts on the first comedy that catches his eye.

You watched him as he held the tablet, he confused you. One minute, he was telling you he would kill you, next, he's making you kill him. Now, you're snuggled up together under the massive amount of blankets and pillows he surely stole from his room. What was his plan?

"Why are you doing this?" you mutter softly, and he smiles beneath his mouth guard.

"I can't see you get this upset, anymore. I care too much about you to let you suffer." Toby tugs the guard down, kissing your temple, and snuggles closer to you just as the show began.