Status Quo | ✓

-22-

Twenty-eight thousand, five hundred and seventy-one. 

Twenty-eight thousand, five hundred and seventy—

When I regained consciousness, I was loomed by the intense fear of the darkness ahead of me. My eyelids felt so heavy that they just wouldn't open and when I tried to move my neck, it felt as though my entire body was fixed in place. Panic filled me when I listened to the annoying beeping sound right beside me, going on in a metrical manner with every beat of my heart and I could only wonder if this was a new sort of torture to mess my mind up. On top of the beeping sound, there were the sounds of air shuffles that sounded so much like a hospital ventilator. 

Hospital ventilator? 

Focusing on my nose, I inhaled deeply and caught the familiar antiseptic smell which uniquely belonged to a hospital. A sudden hit of emotions crashed into me when it was no longer the humid and stale stench of the nightmare that I was trapped in. 

Did I make it back? 

Yet, all the good I felt receded like tidewaters the moment I realised that I was no longer in control of my own body. Feeling detached, I wasn't able to feel a single part of my body and that frightened me so much that I struggled and freaked out internally. I never knew it was possible to feel claustrophobic until I felt trapped and tears burned the back of my eyes so badly that I could no longer hold onto the tears that I refused to shed. At this moment, I only pleaded for someone to see me and help me out. 

"Rae?" 

A familiar voice sounded in my ears and I recognised it immediately. It was Leon and he was the one who called my name. Feeling more tears pooling from my eyes, I let them fall relentlessly and hoping that Leon would know that I was awake. It was a voice filled with concern and pain when he rasped, "Oh gods, are you awake?" 

It was the helplessness within me that started to pray. Please don't let this be a dream. I wished, and I wished so painfully that if all that I was hearing were a dream, I never want to wake up from it all. I wished I wasn't hallucinating the whole experience because everything felt so real and so close to me. Just when I was settling into the comfort, I heard hurried footsteps rushing away from me and I begin to feel anxious. But before I could fall back into despair, there was another person that came close to me. 

"My baby girl, can you hear me?"

Mom? 

The croaky tone of her voice made everything felt so real right now. Grabbing onto my arm, I could feel her hands trembling and her tears were warm on the back of my hand as she pressed her forehead on it. My heart hurts so badly and there was a complicated mix of emotions within me right now that I couldn't put into words. Mom continued to cry while holding my arm and I felt every drop of her tears against my skin. I wanted to hold her and wipe the tears off her eyes, but I was helpless in my state.