Status Quo | ✓

-29-

"Ready to go?"

I wished I could tell Leon that I was ready but I was totally not okay with this. The thought about seeing that man scared me more than anything else.

Just the night before, I was shaken up by a nightmare. I had woken up confused, thinking that I was back in that dark room again. The panic episode turned out to be so intense that I nearly blacked out. Thankfully, Leon was there to pull me back to reality and calm me down. It was only he was there that I managed to sleep the meagre hours for today. 

But I know that I needed to do this. I had endured through the hardest part and I'm definitely brave enough for this. This wretched storm will be over soon. I reminded myself as I took a deep breath and followed him out of the apartment. He walked to the lift and I felt his hand brushed against mine, his fingers slipped into the spaces in between.

"Rae, I'll be by your side later," he assured. "Let me be a part that gives you the strength to go through this." 

I was already highly strung and when he said that, I crashed into his hug. "Leo, you will always be my strength," I choked on a sob.

-

My body trembled uncontrollably as I stood in the middle of the court. I had never felt so intimidated in my entire life that even though I had Mom and Leon sitting right behind me. It was as though they were pulled miles apart from me because I couldn't feel the warmth of their skin and the courtroom appeared to be too cold for me to bear.  

"Ms Anderson," the judge read out my name and I quaked.

"Y-Yes," I replied, my shaking voice dropped low to a near whisper.

At this moment, the door opened from the corner of the courtroom and the man of my nightmares sauntered to his seat. He didn't bother lowering his head, he walked confidently without care. I felt the intensity of his stare from where I was and I immediately looked away, avoiding eye contact. My heart pounded so loudly that I could hear the echo of each thump in my ears.

"Ms Anderson, please offer your initial statement on the case."

I held onto the script that I wrote a few nights before and read out every word that I had braced myself to say. When I was done, I turned to my side slightly and looked at Mom and Leon. They gave me a reassuring smile and I internally heaved a huge sigh of relief. I began to feel calmer and more confident about my situation.

Yet, that didn't last long.

The defence lawyer stood up and spoke. His words trampled on every positive feeling I had gathered for myself. He said, "According to my defendant, the case which Ms Anderson provided was falsifiable."

My eyes widened in horror and they went straight to the man sitting behind the bars. His eyes were on me all the time and when we finally made eye-contact, the tip of his lips lifted into a sinister smile. I instantly felt a freezing jolt down my spine and realised that he came to this official session prepared. His lawyer would present any twisted piece of evidence so that I would look like a total fool in front of everyone in the court. 

At this point, I couldn't even process what his lawyer was saying and that had proven to be a huge issue because there was no way I could fight for myself. My heart raced as it slammed painfully against my chest and I felt like I was drowning, with no air in my lungs. Stumbling forward, my hands shot out to clamp on the ledge, miserably trying to prevent my legs from giving out. I was losing it.

I couldn't remember how to breathe properly and I felt a sudden loss of strength. A strong arm caught me from behind and held me in place, preventing me from collapsing to the ground and embarrassing myself further.

"Mr Taylor, please refrain from interrupting a presentation," the lawyer frowned.

His grip on my waist tightened, letting my body lean against his for support. He snapped, "I demand a halt on the hearing. Ms Anderson is not in the condition to continue." 

"Ms Anderson, is that true?" the lawyer asked, but there was no sign of concern in his tone. If it was anything, those words sounded like a mockery.

I couldn't find the words to retort anything in return because all the words got stuck in my throat. My hands were getting clammy and they slipped off the ledge, my full body weight leaned against Leon's body, praying that he would not let go of me. I lowered my head helplessly, unsure what else I could do at this moment in time.

Then, there were two resounding knocks before the judge spoke, "Assessing the situation, the court arrived at a unanimous decision to end the hearing here. Each party should expect a follow-up and special court measures would be placed in consideration. An official letter will be issued to inform the next official appointment. With that, the case is held on hold."

-

I can't believe I did not close the case today.

I sat in the car with Mom and Leon. None of us said anything and I was glad that they spared me from the need to make small talk and pretend that all the things which happened today in the court were okay. The case had yet close and there was still another chance to offer my statement. But what could I offer? It felt impossible and there was nothing else to be added because he had twisted them all. With his influence and wealth, I was already suspecting that he would do something of that sort. Just that, I really didn't know how to prepare myself for it.

The entire trip back to Leon's apartment was tense but having both of them around was a huge relief for me, reminding me that I wasn't alone in this. After Leon pulled his car over, I pushed opened the door and got out of the car. I struggled my way up the stairs towards the lift lobby, but my legs gave out halfway and I fell, my knees hit hard on the corners of the steps.

"Rachelle!" Mom screamed from behind before running towards me and holding me by my shoulder.

A breathless laugh bubbled off me, but there was nothing happy about this laughter. "I must've looked like an idiot."

Hot tears streamed unremittingly from the corners of my eyes as I huffed and sniffled noisily. I sat on those steps and cried like a baby. 

"Baby girl, you did what you could," Mom's voice cracked as she pulled me towards her and hugged me so tightly that her body quivered. Leon stood at the side, giving us some moments while apologising to tenants of the apartment as they made their way around us.

Is there really no other way?

✿

What/Who gives you strength?