Status Quo | ✓

-26-

I woke up to the familiar beeping sound of the heart rate monitor, feeling unusually heavy-headed and worn out. I wriggled my fingers and noticed a weight above my left hand. I turned my head slightly and saw Leon. He sat in the chair placed beside the bed with his arm folded on the siderail and his head resting above. His other arm held onto my hand as he lay close to me, sound asleep. 

"Leo—" I mumbled weakly.

For a heavy sleeper, it surprised me when he flinched awake and jolted up at the sound of his name. His eyes scanned me from head to toe and the end of my lips lifted up into a frail smile. His hand cupped one side of my cheek and the other combed my hair away from my face. I laughed breathlessly at the ticklish feeling of his fingers on my scalp.

"Sweetheart, are you feeling okay?"

I nodded and remained silent. I didn't dare to look at him so I lowered my gaze, staring at my own hands. His fingers moved from my hair to my ear before tracing along the curve of my jaw. He inched closer, putting the siderail down and sat close to me with his hips against my thigh. "Can I tell you something?"

My heart stuttered when he whispered so gently to me and unease stirred within. I was afraid to hear what he had to say, but I was done pushing him away. So, I forced a soft sound from the back of my throat to acknowledge his question.

"Rae, I know you'd been through a lot. But you don't have to pretend that you're okay when you aren't. I understand that you want to take your time to talk and no matter how much time you're going to take, I'll wait for you. I'll always be here for you and you can talk to me when you're ready," Leon said, leaning close to me so that our foreheads touched. In a voice filled with tenderness and affection, he whispered, "And you're going to come to me. Can you promise me that?"

"Why?" I rasped, all choked up by the profound emotion brimming from within.

"Because I love you. I love you deeply, sweetheart," Leon mumbled, skating his thumb over my lips before both thumbs wiped the corners of my eyes, taking away tears that had flowed without my knowledge. All the words swelled in my chest and I let them out relentlessly, without restraint.

"I-I wanted to cry too. I w-wanted to t-talk to someone too. B-but everyone t-treated me l-like I w-wasn't me, I f-felt so d-different and I f-felt so miserable..." I spoke through my sobs, stopping every now and then to gasp for air. "I w-wanted to b-be o-okay too..."

Leon's fingers curled on the back of my neck, taking me into his arms without any hesitation. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm so sorry for making you feel this way." 

He held me so tightly in his arms that I felt being squeezed, but at least I knew everything that happening at the moment was real. I wept in his embrace like a helpless child, my hands balled the material of his shirt tightly as I buried my forehead on his shoulders. My entire body shook as I leaned my entire weight against him for support.