Finding my Happiness

Stop Running

The pressure around my neck goes away and I open my eyes hoping to see my Dad or Grandma welcoming me home but instead I see 9 men surrounding me, untying the rope around my neck. " Stop it! Let me go!" I say kicking and screaming trying to finish what I started.  " No Jazz! Guys help me out here!" 97 says with me over his shoulders.  97 puts me on the bed and the Michael's hold me down making it impossible to move. Little MJ looked on horrified at what he just witnessed. I saw tears falling down his chubby cheeks which just made me feel somewhat horrible for my actions. "Please get off of me! Just let me die! Please just let me die..." i begin to cry as one of the MJs start stroking my hair and another one lays on my back holding onto me. "No we're not going to let you die. You're way too young." 09 says caressing my hand. I turn my head and I see 87 and 82 crying but trying to stay strong at the same time. Then I turn my head to the other side and I see the same picture. Why do they care so much? I always knew Michael was a very sensitive and caring person but why over somebody they don't even know? " A-are you o-ok Jazz?" Little MJ asks rubbing his eyes full of tears. "She's going to be fine go into the living room and wait there ok?" 95 says to him as he runs out the room and down stairs. " Hey Jazz were going to let you sit up ok? Don't do anything stupid." 09 says as i feel them get off me and I sit up feeling the worried stares. "Y'all can stop staring at me. I'm fine."  " Fine?! We found you dangling from the ceiling!" 79 says shrieking. " Ok?! Why do you guys care about me? You literally showed up out of nowhere wanting to go back home and here you are saving my life!" I say jumping out of the bed putting the chair back in the corner of the room. " Besides how did you know what I was doing?"  " When you came back home you went to the kitchen and grabbed a rope and just the look on your face I knew something wasn't right." 01 says.  " Why would you kill yourself? You're so young, you have too much life to live." 91 says as I roll my eyes and I take off my hoodie and show them both of my arms where my cuts are. Their eyes practically pop out of their heads. " See this?! This is why I wanted to end it all! I cut myself to ease the pain but it can only do so much. I miss my grandma and my daddy so much I wanted to see them again..... but no you motherfuckers fucked it up for me! So I ask you again why do you fucking care?!"  " Well maybe it's because I see something beautiful in you and I....we don't want to see it go down the drain." 09 says calmly giving me sympathetic eyes that are comforting to me. It makes me drop to my knees and cry. Then 87 comes kneeling down in front of me and grabs me for a hug and I let him. " I'm sorry about your grandmother and Father.... I know you miss them so much." He says rubbing my back while I bury my head in the crook of his neck. His embrace was something I was missing in my life. "I just want this feeling to go away! I want to stop running away from everything but I can't help it." "Maybe that's what we're here for.... to help you." 82 says and I look up and my eyes travels to each one of them. Then I remembered I asked my dad for a sign. Was this his sign? Was he talking through the Michael's to get me to stay here on earth? Maybe they..... he isn't so bad. For once maybe I should just pretend this is real. I mean they should be real I punched the shit out of the Bad era MJ. " Well if I'm being completely honest, I need help.... you we're the voice who got me out of the darkest days and you're really here, all different versions of you." I lightly chuckle. " Of course! We'll help you get through whatever you're going through." 95 says with everyone else nodding in agreement. " But for how long? I thought you guys wanted to go home?" I ask as they all look at each other for an answer. " Of course we want to go back home but in the mean time we'll stay here and keep you from doing stuff like this " 97 says.  " if you insist.... well we need too have a group meeting then so we can discuss rules and you're names."  I say while I get up off the floor. "Everyone in the living room." We all exit my room like the life threatening episode didn't happen. We meet up with Little MJ and his tears still fresh. When he sees me he runs over to give me the biggest hug. " Are you ok Jazz?" He says nuzzling his head into my stomach. " Yeah I'm fine go sit back down." I say has he nods his head and rubs right back over to the couches. " Ok everyone so since I finally came to terms with my mental health and you guys are still here, It's time to give you guys names." " How you gonna do that?" 82 asks. " Well if you guys can't tell already you are each from your albums that we're released the year you came from. So we can just go from there." I say as some of them give me confused looks. " So my name is gonna be Off the Wall? Please tell me you're joking." 79 says. " Well no I plan on trying to give you real names. Something that relates to you individually." I say as they all smile in agreement. " That's a relief because I don't want to be called Invincible." 01 says as they others laugh. " Ok little MJ, your name is gonna be J5." I say as the newly named J5 eyes light up and he fist pumps in the air. "Alright! I have the coolest name ever!" The other Michael's roll their eyes. "And you 79 era, I think I'm going to name you.... James." "Like James brown?! Oh I love it!" James says grabbing me for a hug. I then go on to name the rest of them. 82 I named Billy from his song Billie Jean, 87 I named Darryl from his Bad music video. 91 I had just took the first three letters from Dangerous and decided to call him Danny. Of course when I told him that he smiled and made me have butterflies in my stomach. 95 I decided to named him Charlie because I remember seeing pictures of him dressed up as Charlie Chaplin in 1995 for a photo shoot. Besides it was way easier to call him that than to figure out a name to call him from the album he's from. 97 interrupted me before I even opened my mouth and asked if he could be named after his son Prince. I allowed it since his name was also hard to figure out. 01 was easy I just took the 'vinc' from invincible and slapped a 'e' on it and you have the name Vince. Lastly there was 09' since he's basically the oldest and more like the dad of the group I think he rightfully deserves his original name Michael. " So there we go. Everyone is named and now we know who each other is." " Except for you Jazz. We don't know anything about you." Michael says as the others burn me with their stares. " There's nothing to know about me... I mean eventually I'll tell you guys all about myself but in the mean time let's just worry about you for a second." I say as Charlie raises his hand like he's in school. " Yeah Charlie?"  "Well not to gross you out or anything but I think I'm speaking for all of us when I say we stink. And on top of that we have been wearing the same clothes for almost two days."  Charlie says while the others mumble embarrassed as he states the facts. " Yeah he's right.... and we have no extra clothes either." Billy says.  Shit I didn't think about all this. They don't have any clothes and they honestly do look like they need to take showers. " Ok I will figure out clothing and the shower situation. Does anyone else have any other comments?" Then Darryl raises his hand. " Yes Darryl?" " Where are we going to sleep? These couches aren't good for my back." He says rubbing his neck. " Yeah and some people like to snore too." James says darting his eyes at Vince. " I'll figure out the sleeping arrangements too. In the mean time everyone is going to take a shower. Everyone follow me." I say as they all follow me like puppies. " Now I only have 3 bathrooms so y'all have to decide who's going first" I say as we stop at the hall closet and I grab 9 towels and hand them to Prince so he can pass one out to everyone. " What about clothes?" Danny asks. I then dig in the closet even deeper and pull out a box of my dads old clothes and place it on the floor. " Y'all can wear these for now until I can get you some more. Now the first bathroom is across the hall from the kitchen, the second one is upstairs to the right when you first get up the stairs and the third bathroom is in my bedroom. Now y'all go handle ya business while I figure some stuff out."  "Thank you so much Jazz, we'll pay you back in some way." Vince says while the other Michael's are digging through the box for clothes. " No problem. I'll be back to check on y'all." I give them a thin smile and walk towards the kitchen. Out of all the clothing I could have gave them I give them my dad's clothes. I mentally slap myself in the face. It was a moment of weakness honestly. I'm just trying to figure out with the income I'm bringing in how the fuck am I going to feed and clothe 9 men with just $7.75 an hour?