I STOPPED COUNTING:
EVERY DAY FEELS LIKE YEARS
Took me some courage to find a spot for myself to quiet my soul.
I stopped counting months. They either passed like the wind or they take eternity to be over.
I wished eyes never lied and I know people sometimes wish for love on every 11:11 but it seems as though my 11:11 wish was that your eyes never lied.
How could I ever live with the fact that everything changed within one week?
I miss you, I care. I care. I care.
It was beginning to sound scripted Carter. How could you say you miss me while you tell her 'Good morning' and 'Good night'? While you tend to my sickness but your wretched eyes ached with worry when she had a little stumble? While you talked about adventures ahead while you keep her at the top of your mind?
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
Have you seen the things I do for you? I don't even do for her.
So it seems Carter, I have gone crazy. Insane and terribly catastrophic.
Jealousy is not a good colour on me but I still like to think I clothe myself with dignity. Letting you go with grace and telling you for the first time ever I love you.
You can never love me back or even have a drip of feelings for me but I only ask for you to stop doing this to yourself. Stop letting other girls fill that void up for yourself, have I not taught you anything?
Was all of those love wasted for you to feed yourself or was I not giving you the validation you so desperately seek?
These questions ran my mind Carter and it gets a little overwhelming and it engulfs my sobriety.
I do not need answers Carter.
I just need you to treat me like you really care, like I really matter.
If we are friends, we stop sleeping together.
If we are more than that, we be together.
But I gave you multiple opportunities to make things right and so I have to make it right myself. I retract the power I had given you over the course of our journey.
So eighth day:
I ignored you for eight days and that was the longest it has been for me since I heard your voice or saw your face.
There is this longing in the fragments in my heart and I miss you so much.
27 November 2019: it is my birthday and for the first time in years I make one wish.
Can you chase me down and let your actions prove my worth in your eyes?
YOU ARE READING
Friends with Benefits
Short StoryC A S U A L The only 6 letter word you ever destroyed for me. Down to the very bottom of my heart, you knew what we could be and you knew what my heart bore. Friends with benefits: it never worked out because we end up falling love and falling out...
