Don't tell me everything is going to be okay when you know it's not. I am so done with walking around acting like everything is okay, because it's fucking not. I'm not okay and I want to leave far away from here. My friend this is not okay.
On Monday I got out of bed faster then I did in months. I combed my hair and brushed my teeth did everything I was supposed to. Regular day attire, my friend I miss you... I miss how close we were. How we used to chase down that one kid because he liked to pick on your younger sister or how when we lost your dog and found him in the sprinklers.
I went away for a while just like I said I would. Some days were very good and some were very bad. Kind of like rain with white clouds and a grey sun. To be honest with you I don't even know why I'm writing this letter, which is sad because I'm stuck focusing on you...when I should be focusing on myself.
My wrist was the paper
The razor was my pen
And the first time I drew
The ink came out red;
My wrist was the paper
Then needle was my pen
The last time I drew
The ink came out red;
A small tattoo that spelled
Out "Stay," cause three
Years later, I was doing okay.
(Julia C.)
Don't tell me everything is going to be okay when you're the one who left. Don't tell me everything is going to be okay when you're the one who let drown. Don't tell me everything is going to be okay when you're the one who took everything from me. Don't tell me everything is going to be okay when your the one who told me you would stay. You're a liar.
This time last year I was 13. This time next year I will be 15. I won't be better I'll still be sitting here waiting for you to return, while you sit up there and laugh because you like seeing me hurt. I'll still be a wreck like a ship that sunk , only because you've made me this way. I'll still be going through my stages of depression waiting for it to leave. It won't.
I'm done with all of your lies everything you've told me was a lie. How about when you said you loved me? Was that a lie?! How about when you said you would never leave? That was a lie. The words that came out of your mouth was self pity along with torture. I felt like a prisoner in a holding cell! How would you feel?
My friend I'm sorry for taking my anger out on you, it jut comes out and I need to let it leave or else I freak out on people who don't need it. I love you and I wouldn't do anything to harm you but you've already done that to your self... I'm sorry. I love and miss you I'll see you soon.
