My friend I have to admit, I've been through a shitty week. I don't know how to handle half of the stuff that happens to me, I really don't.
On Monday I went to therapy and I let everything out, isn't that what's supposed to happen? I cried and I told her everything, everything came out.
On Tuesday I talked to my mom about NY feelings for the first time in 4 years. That ended with her saying she's sorry and that she wants to make me happy. I believed her.
The past two days were just a blur and I thought about a lot of things that ended up with me writing to you.
My friend I stopped cutting. For good this time. I realized that in order for me to fix my self I have to start with my number one week ness. So I did. I still have the scars from the 20 scratches that cover my arm all the way up. They remind me of who I once was. I'm trying.
On Friday my day just screwed up . a teacher of mine took my paper and crumbled it up in my face and threw it at me. That pisses me off. My friend that made me reach my peaking point. I then walked outside to go home and I had so much anger built up in me I was going to punch people right then and there. It was the first day I saw the fear coming from my friends eyes, I knew I was scaring her so I didn't talk, I feel like if I say something she'll leave and that's it. It happens a lot and I just get so scared.
I don't mean to.
I'm trying to get better and I know I can do it if I just slow down and think. But I can't promise anything.
My friend I love and miss you, I'll see you soon.
