Something wasn’t quite right. Morning humidity, dew drops masterfully painted across the grass, and a heated climate: something definitely wasn’t right.
Ah, the first signs of summer.
This realization shot Taemin clean through his heart and weakened his breath. The inevitable arrives so lamentably quickly when one is not anticipating. When one survives on hope, foolish dreams, and what-ifs.
~~
“Taeminie, can I talk to you for a sec?”
Truthfully, at the end of fifth period on a Monday, Taemin didn’t really want to talk to anyone. But Jonghyun actually seemed serious for once, so Taemin groaned a little and followed him to the isolated corner of the room. “Watchu want?”
“Is everything okay with Kibum? He’s been acting really weird for the past, I dunno, month.”
Taemin’s palms dampened slightly. “Uhh…,” but before he could answer, he noticed Jongin a few feet behind Jonghyun, sticking out his tongue and crossing his eyes in Taemin’s direction. Taemin tried not to laugh and bit the inside of his cheek as he offered an explanation. “Stomach problems?”
Jonghyun gave Taemin one of his famous looks of "how damn stupid do you think I am this is dead serious". Taemin sighed. “He’s okay. I mean, he’s not okay. But he is. He’s just going through some stuff. Don’t say anything, just….”
Taemin noticed that Jongin had mouthed something along the lines of “meet” and “car” and “afterschool”. Taemin tried to nod to Jongin while simultaneously maintaining his serious conversation with Jongyhun, “Just… He’s a sweet kid, you know that. So just treat him… how he should be treated. Be nice to him but don’t be nice. Maybe you should be a tad more considerate. And don’t flaunt your girlfriend all the time.”
“But you flaunt Jong—”
“Just don’t.”
They stared at each other until Jonghyun finally agreed to drop it.
Taemin knew all too well how Kibum felt, but each time this situation was brought up, he couldn’t help but feel like the luckiest boy in the world. Having his love returned after so long, but then having to see it wither away. Perhaps it really was too good to be true, or maybe it was a test of luck; or maybe Taemin just couldn’t be bothered to ponder this with such limited time to focus on the absolute positives.
~~
The back of Taemin’s neck burned from the sun after each step across the seemingly endless parking lot. He saw Jongin’s car, and hoped it wasn’t a mirage. He finally reached the door, opened it, and threw himself inside with a “yo, blast on that AC it’s hot as balls out there”. After panting for a few seconds, he turned towards Jongin. His arms were crossed, and his head leaned against the window; eyes closed so delicately.
Taemin reached out his hand to shake him awake, hesitated, and withdrew. He decided to wait a few minutes. Not to give Jongin rest, but to admire his beauty and etch every detail about Jongin’s flawlessly sculpted body deep into his memory.
His eyes started with Jongin’s jaw, and drifted further down, admiring every freckle and every scar. Further still, until his eyes anchored on a certain place between his legs. He tried multiple times to look away, but his eyes refused. Mostly because he didn’t necessarily want to look away from Jongin’s crotch, although he felt his body temperature rise; along with the growing lump in his throat. To tame the urge to place his hand onto Jongin’s thigh required much discipline. The urge to then slide his hand upwards and just gently massage…
