Epiphany

Chapter 1

Reminder: The italic ones are the thoughts Abhaya can read.
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I walked across the hallway with my usual posture having my head down to avoid meeting the eyes of the people around me. A day that is usual for someone like me who is said to have some kind of special ability. It's funny how they told me that it's a special ability when it actually feels like a curse, a curse that ruined my past.

I've been in this school for more than three years now, and this is going to be my last but still, I have no one beside me. I didn't bother making friends in this university ever since the day I came here knowing the fact that it will only complicate things. I don't wanna invade their thoughts every time I hang out with them.

Inaamin ko din sa sarili ko na may takot sa puso ko na pilit kong tinatago, natatakot ako na magpahalaga sa ibang tao. It's just that I don't want to be in the same situation where I have to lose someone I love the most. I don't want someone to leave me again. Just, not again.

I went inside my first class for today and sat on a chair at the far back of the classroom. I placed my laptop on top of the table in front of me and started doing my research. I have to finish this one today so I can pass it tomorrow.

I'm actually glad that we have to do this research solo so I don't have to deal with people in accomplishing this one. To be honest, it's not just because of my special ability but also those lousy members that you usually have in groups. I don't need a pain in the head members who only rely on their leader all the time, tsk...

An unfamiliar girl sat beside me while I was busy typing the content.

"Hi!"

I examined her smiling face and looked straight into her eyes. I usually do this to people who starts a conversation with me. Why? To know their intentions, and I swear to God that I've already had enough of the awful thoughts I read in the past. But then, these are situations where I can put this ability into great use.

"I hope she's nice." I'm not, I replied at the back of my mind.

"Hello" I said with an awkward smile and avoided her gaze.

"I hope you don't mind having me here seating beside you." umiling ako at ngumiti sa kaniya.

"Nah, it's fine," I replied hoping to end the conversation.

"I'm Ada, btw. What's your name?"

"Abhaya," I focused on doing my work even though she continued talking to me.

"Great name! I'm actually new here so I wanted to make friends and I hope you'll be one of them." I just nodded at her.

Hindi siya tumigil sa pagkwekwento sa'kin na parang isang high school student na hindi mo mapipigilan sa pagsasalita.
She actually looks like a kid with that braided hair and wide smile of hers. Her physical appearance suits her personality which seems to be a bubbly one.

I just continually nodded to her stories and she didn't seem to mind my reaction even though I'm not paying attention to her. I guess I'll have a hard time getting rid of this girl.

"Class dismissed!" I fixed my things after the announcement and went towards the door.

Ada followed me until I got to the cafeteria.

"Can I join you for lunch?" She had this puppy eyes like a little kid usually does.

"Please, please, please." I simply nodded.

We chose a seat near the large window of the cafeteria. I finished my meal fast while she is still eating beside me. She got a lot of food so I guess it'll take time for her to finish eating.

Napatingin na lamang ako sa labas ng bintana at pinagmasdan ang unti-unti nang dumidilim na kalangitan sa bawat minutong lumilipas. Mukhang maya-maya lang ay papatak na ang nagbabadyang ulan.

Just like my prediction, after a short while the rain started pouring. Pinagmasdan ko ang mga tao sa labas na kasalukuyan nang nagmamadali sa paghanap ng masisilungan. Mayroon ding mga tao na nilabas ang payong na dala nila at pinayungan ang mga taong nasa tabi nila. How I wish I also have someone to rely on just like these people. But then, as of the moment, I can't even find a reason to live and meet people.

Ano pang saysay ng buhay ko kung ang mga taong pinapahalagahan ko noon ay wala na ngayon? Napakahirap na pilitin ang sarili na bumangon sa bawat araw para harapin ang buhay kung wala ka namang rason para magpatuloy sa buhay.

"See those three boys?" I was interrupted from my instrospection when Ada pointed at three boys who are walking like models under the rain.

"Those are my friends," I observed them as I got curious why she only got male friends.

They don't seem to mind the rain, huh?

"I have to go now, I still have to do something. Bye Ada." I stood up from my seat and got my things.

"Oh! Ganoon ba? Goodbye then," she said and smiled at me.

I left her on our seat and went to the hallway that leads to the exit of this building. The sound coming from my two inch heels is echoing across the hallway. I don't see any student in the hallway that's probably why it's so quiet in here. It reminds me of the deafening silence of my own room, a place where I live alone.

Nakarating na ako sa exit at napatigil sa paglalakad. Nawala sa isipan ko na umuulan pa nga pala. Nanatili ako sa aking kinatatayuan at pinagmasdan ang pagbagsak ng ulan.

My hand suddenly moved on its own like it was mesmerized by the sight. It touched the cold droplets of water coming from the rain as the wind blows making my hair dance with the wind. I wanna fondly feel the coldness of its breeze but no, I can only feel tears forming at the side of my eyes. I closed my eyes tightly.

I hate the rain, I hate it so much...

It reminds me of that dark night, the night I wished never happened. The night I wished to be a simple nightmare. But no, it is not a nightmare you get when you sleep, it is not just a simple dream. It is the nightmare of my reality, the nightmare of my life.

Sinarado ko ang aking kamay nang mahigpit at binawi ito sa pagdama sa ulan. Ayaw ko nang balikan pa ang mga pangyayari sa aking nakaraan na pilit kong kinakalimutam.

I wiped away the tears and pulled my bag in front, I opened it to find the umbrella that I usually bring. I was busy finding it when suddenly, a tall figure bumped unto my shoulder, hindi ako handa sa lakas ng impact ng pagkakabangga niya sa akin kaya naman nawalan ako ng balanse. Nanlaki ang mata ko nang maramdaman ko na malapit na akong mahulog, inabot ng lalaki ang kaniyang kamay sa akin at sinubukan ko itong hawakan pero huli na ang lahat. I fell with my bottom on the wet ground, hard! The scrouching pain coming from the fall made me flinched.

This man! The tall guy reached out his hand for the second time to help me in standing up but I angrily pushed his hand away from me. I got my things and tried standing on my own but the wet floor is too slippery making it harder for me to stand. For the third time, he reached out his hand to me but I acted like I didn't see it.

This is his fault!

After a while, I finally got up and wiped away the dirt. Basang-basa na ako! Pinagmasdan ko ang paligid at napakunot noo nang makita na maraming tao ang nanonood sa ginawa naming eksena.

I don't need this kind of attention! I've had enough!

I prepared myself to spit fire to this man beside me, I faced him and saw that he is also busy looking around making me glare at him.

"Are you stupid or what?! Didn't you see me standing here?! You should have been more---" I was interrupted from what I was saying when his eyes suddenly met mine. It was intensely dark and I swear that I have never seen eyes as dark as his. He looks apologetic and it is evident in his pitch black eyes like it was pulling me in.

But it is not the beauty of his orbs that stopped me.

It's blankness.

I can't see anything, I don't see anything.

I can't read his mind!

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