𝐟-𝐛𝐨𝐲. ↬ j.jungkook (?)

[TWENTY TWO]

Sooyoung stared intently at the flavored milk situated on the table, her lips pursed tightly as though to lock her words behind them.

Jungkook figured that he'd take her out for a drink to talk about what was on her mind, but he wasn't really getting anywhere. Even on the car journey up to the midnight cafe, she barely spoke a word to him.

"So..." He drawled, somewhat awkwardly as he glanced around the virtually empty cafe, leaning his elbows on the table, "Are we going to address the elephant in the room, or?"

Sooyoing looked up with a perplexed frown, "What are you talking about?" She asked, her nose scrunching up, "There's no elephants in here to dress."

Jungkook's expression fell flat as he leaned back against the cushioned booth, "I hate you so much," He exhaled, "You know exactly what I mean Choi, now spill. What's on your mind?"

Sighing in defeat, Sooyoung pushed her shoulders back against her seat, adjacent to Jungkook as he rubbed the back of her neck, "It's really no big deal. I'm due my period so I'm probably just extra sensitive."

"Stop making excuses."

"I'm just..." Sooyoung sighed, her head flopping forward on the table, "I can't stop thinking about Park Yejin and how her bitch ass is ignoring my messages, I'm worried something has happened to her or that I've pissed her off, and on top of that I have literally no self-esteem right now," She glared at the table inches from her eyes, "Do you ever just want to change parts of yourself that you don't like? But you know that you're never going to be okay with what you see, even if you do start changing things."

Admittedly, Sooyoung's question was rhetorical - a way for her to get her emotions out without making herself sound self-centered. Truth be told, she wasn't looking for an answer from her friend.

"All the time." He replied easily.

She looked up, taken back by his response, "What? You?"

Were they looking at the same person? She wasn't convinced. The man that was sat in front her, much to her own dismay, was undeniably attractive. She couldn't even pin it on just one part of him that stood out, his dark, almond shaped eyes were just as sharp as his jawline.

Jungkook was a winning contender in the genetics lottery, there was no denying that.

He let out a small chuckle, brushing his ebony hair back, "We all have different standards of beauty, Sooyoung. What I find attractive is clearly different from what you find attractive," He leaned forward, his chest pressing against the edge of the table as he smiled at her, the space between them suddenly a lot smaller, "This is going to sound so corny but stay with me, yeah? You need to stop comparing yourself to others. You're fine just as you are, learn to love what makes you, you."

"Damn," Sooyoung blinked, "You're right, that was corny."

"But it's true," He remarked, nudging her arm lightly, "It's easy to fill someone up with all this bullshit about self-acceptance, but it's hard. I'm not even there yet," He smiled softly, "But it helps to surround yourself with people who accept all of you. Even the shitty parts so they can keep you in check."

"Then why don't you do that?"

Jungkook paused. Words faltering on his tongue. Why didn't he do that? Clearing his throat, he attempted to smile away her observation, "I do that."

Sooyoung raised her brows incredulously, bringing the straw to her lips as she sat okay, "Okay, buddy."

"Never call me that again," Jungkook scrunched up his nose, "What about Taehyung, Namjoon and Jimin, huh? They accept me."

"And what about everyone else you have in your life? Because you sure as hell don't let them see the real you."

"And what's the real me?" Jungkook fired back, tilting his head.

"I don't know," She answered truthfully, matching his gaze, "But the parts of you I've seen over the past few weeks? Whether they're parts of the real you or not, I like it. I don't like that it means my first assumption of you was wrong, but I like the authenticity."

Jungkook felt his ears begin to warm, the sincerity in her words suddenly making him feel somewhat flustered. Looking away briefly, he pulled his eyebrows together as he tried to compose himself before looking back, "This wasn't supposed to be about me, Choi, stop evading the subject."

Groaning, Sooyoung rolled her eyes, her shoulders drooping, "Look, it's just temporary. I go through phases of self-loathing all the time, it's not that big of a deal," She chuckled dryly, "I just had to stalk Sohye's profile..."

"Sohye?" The man opposite her repeated, "As in my Sohye?"

Sooyoung cringed, recoiling from his words, "She's not an object."

"Oh shut up, you know what I meant," He rolled his eyes, "Jung Sohye?"

"Yes."

"You know, she says the same thing about other girls," Jungkook mused, folding his arms across his chest,  "Looks really aren't everything, Choi. They don't define you," Catching his own words, he snorted, "Maybe we both need to take my advice."

"Maybe we do." She offered him a lopsided smile. Glancing down at her watch, she sucked in a sharp breath, "Shit, it's late."

Nodding his head, Jungkook stood up, seemingly satisfied with their chat. It hadn't fixed her and he wasn't closer to becoming a therapist, but he felt like there was a newfound clarity for them both, a way forward to self-improvement.

But then again, it was also approaching 1am, so it could have just been the sleep deprivation.

"Let's go."