Langst: Lost Under The Waves

4- I just feel lost

"So it started when you left really." Lance mumbled fiddling with the end of his sleeve.

"Why then exactly?" Keith asked confused.

"People kept telling me that it was only because you left that I was actually doing okay, that I had moved up." Lance admitted still refusing to meet Keith's gaze. "It was everyday and... And when someone keeps telling you something I guess you start to believe it."

Keith stared at Lance, this was the most open Lance had ever been with him, and possibly anyone.

"But I kept trying to look for areas that I wasn't what they said but I couldn't find anything." Lance grumbled with a sigh. "Things just went from bad to worse really."

"What did you do about it?" Keith asked sitting up more.

"I... I just let it happen." Lance admitted meeting Keith's gaze. "I didn't know how to stop it."

"Have you told Hunk?" Keith asked curiously.

"No, I didn't want to worry him." Lance said shaking his head sadly. "He's got his own troubles anyway."

"Yeah but you're doubting your whole existence. I would say that counts as something Lance." Keith responded in disbelief.

"I've never had anyone to say otherwise so why shouldn't I believe it?" Lance stated quietly.

"Because it isn't true, you're not my replacement." Keith promised shuffling closer. "Yes you may have moved up when I left but that was just circumstantial."

"No it wasn't." Lance said as a single tear ran down his cheek.

"Lance they kept mentioning me because of how much of an idiot I was, I stole Shiro's car! You're not like me Lance, not in the slightest."

More tears fell making Keith panic, it didn't look good.

"I don't even know who I am anymore." Lance said shakily making Keith pull him into a tight hug. "I just feel lost."

"Then we reverse the effects." Keith said with a small smile. "We do things you want to do, and try to coax you out of yourself... If that makes any sense."

"Sounds like a plan." Lance sniffed burying his head in Keith's shoulder. "I just don't want to hurt anymore."

"Please tell me when you're hurting at least." Keith said running a hand through Lance's hair. "I want to be able to help you."

"Okay." Lance nodded keeping quiet.

"So... What do you want to do now?" Keith asked making Lance sigh.

"I don't know." Lance shrugged.

"What did you used to do on earth?" Keith wondered aloud.

"Studied for the garrison." Lance responded.

"Before that?"

"I was too young to really remember." Lance whispered pulling away from Keith.

"Are you telling me that you grew up with the intention to go to the garrison?"

"I wanted to go to space." Lance shrugged. "Look at me now."

"Paladins we need to make a momentary stop to finish off the communication device, so hold on." Coran's voice informed over the coms.

Keith sighed but soon an idea popped into his mind.

"Hey Lance, how about a race?" Keith asked making Lance look at him confused. "You and me out on the planet with the racers for the lions, how about it?"

"I don't mind." Lance shrugged again making Keith frown. "I guess it could be fun."

"That's the right answer, come on." Keith smirked dragging Lance after him.

Soon they were both in their racers staring out across the horizon before them.

"You ready?" Keith asked revving up his racer.

"I guess so." Lance nodded his eyes narrowing slightly. "Let's do this."

The two then launched and blasted forwards, they were so caught up in their race that they didn't see the Galran fighter that had just locked it's blasters onto Keith's racer.

The blast sounded and Lance flinched spinning to see the Galran fighter, then he saw the damage.

"Keith!" Lance yelled watching as the dust settled around the red racer which had just been hit.

There wasn't a response from Keith and Lance felt the adrenaline rush through his veins.

"I'm coming Keith." Lance stated determinedly.

The fighters continued to try and shoot at the rubble of Keith's racer making Lance more concerned.

Keith stirred feeling heavy as he realised the ship above him was going to kill him.

His eyes widened and he tries to get out, but his leg was jammed in the crumbled rubble.

There was an engine sound and something revved next to him.

Keith turned to see Lance's racer launched as the fighter fired, it hit Lance's racer making it explode.

Keith shielded his head as debris fell in all directions, shrouding him in smoke.

"Lance!" Keith called out coughing slightly as he tried to move. "Lance!"