bexley curtis ✰ || the outsiders

twenty - two

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twenty - two

This morning, I was freezing. The inside of the diner was blowing freezing air from the vents that were pinned on the corner of the ceiling onto my bare arms. The jukebox was singing throughout the place - not loud, but to where you could hear it if you listen carefully.

"I want to owe you a good explanation about all this," I heard Darry say, sitting up straight as he intertwined his fingers on the table, "I can't express how deeply sorry I am, Bex. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have acted that way to you."

I fixed my eyes to Darry as I played around with my striped straw inside my already melted chocolate shake. Goosebumps were starting to creep up on my arms, not because I was only cold, but because the man sitting in front of me was just a random stranger to me. I couldn't mention that he was my 'brother' without feeling the need to look back on last night.

I shook my head, playing with my straw once again as I glanced down, "It's fine," I looked back up, flicking my eyes between Darry, Soda, and Pony, "I really don't need an explanation. Why don't we just enjoy our shakes and if I have any other questions.. I'll ask."

I saw in the corner of my eyes that Soda and Darry were looking at one another like they were talking with their minds. As for Pony, he was glancing at his shake just like I was, looking at me here and there.

"But yesterday, you wanted for us to explain," Soda recalled, leaning over the table with his hands relaxing on his legs, "That's why we brought you here, Bex. To be in person and give you the information you deserve to know."

I aimed my stare at Soda, "I don't want to know everything now. When I'm ready, I'll ask. I promise. I just want to enjoy this day out with you guys. That's all I ask."

Both Darry and Soda hesitated, unsure of what to say.

"Alright, if you want." Darry said, taking a sip of his chocolate shake. I glanced around the diner, seeing small amounts of people in certain booths. Some were middle classes, some were those preppy rich Soc's, and some were just people who don't classify as anything.

I looked over at Ponyboy who sat silently besides me. By the looks of it, he seems to be really deep into thought. He really is an intellectual kid. He has the brains that no one else does and some people forget that he loves to experience and learn anything he can. He's different. And that's what I like most about him, even if we don't get along well.

"So, Ponyboy," I said after taking a small sip of my shake, "How's track practice coming along? Do you like it?"

He studied me for a moment before he started to speak, "It's not too bad. Our track meets got held back because Coach is taking some time off. Something happened but nobody knows. Quite frankly, I enjoy it."

A smile was lingering on my lips. This was the first time we ever had an actual conversation that consists of each other's interest, "Maybe I'll consider coming to one of your meets. We all would."

"That would be great. I'll let you know when we get our schedules when Coach shows up."

"Speaking of after school activities," I heard Darry speak up after a moment of silence. He grabbed my attention as his voice sounded gruff and serious, "I was thinking of having you enrolled into school with Ponyboy. The semester just started, but you have until the end of the semester to think about it. I just wanted to give you the opportunity. You'll even be in school with Ponyboy, even Two-bit and Johnny - they'll look after you if anything ever happens."

My mouth opened a little, I was speechless. Me going into a high school with different classes of people? It seemed nerve-wracking when I thought about it, just like I did now.

"Thanks for the opportunity, Darry, but-"

"You'll be fine. You'll only be in eleventh grade, just two years of high school won't be that bad," I didn't say anything, it was like there was something blocking my throat to prevent me from saying anything, "You think about it. You don't have to decide right this second."

I sighed to myself, moving my empty glass to the end of the table and laying my head in the palm of my hand.

—

"Darry thought about placing you into Will Rogers?" Johnny asked me astonished. He looked at Ponyboy with a questionable look, "Jeez, man. I'm happy that Darry would do something like that for ya', but there's just so many things that happen in that school it's just... I don't know, insane?"

"I don't know, Johnny. I just want to get my diploma so I can go to college. I want to be a nurse or even something with criminology. I have to go through it whether I like it or not, I guess."

It went quiet. Ponyboy, Johnny, and I were relaxing on the roof of the house gazing at the sunset splattered all over the sky like a painted canvas. The colors were orange and made the clouds look dark as grey. It was breathtaking - even Ponyboy loved it. He admired the colors as it brightened his eyes, it made him smile widely like it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm headin' to bed," I called out, carefully getting up as I held my balance.

Ponyboy and Johnny both turned around looking up at me. "Already? The sunset ain't halfway over yet." Ponyboy recalled.

"I had a long day," I rubbed the back of my neck, "I hardly got any sleep from Dally's when I stayed the night. Goodnight guys."

I shoved my hands in my pockets, carefully hopping off the roof. As I reached the ground, I heard Johnny say to Pony: "She stayed over Dally's?"

I just shrugged it off. I walked up the steps and opened the screen door, walking past Soda and Steve laughing about an incident they seen on the property of the DX. Darry went to bed early since his boas, John Stevens, wanted him to work an early shift tomorrow morning to take someone's spot who called off.

I walked down the expanse of the hallway and into my bedroom. I took off my cashmere sweater and sniffed it gingerly, it smelled exactly like Dally with a whiff of booze and cigarettes. I tossed it onto the seater chest that was in front of my bed. Soda once told me that it was his mother's. It was quite the vintage look, it had these flowers that were almost faded all over.

I opened my closet door, still hearing the faint laughter in the living room. I rummaged through my closet trying to see what outfits I would even wear if I ever considered agreeing to be enrolled into school.

A light, sky blue dress that flared out a little on the bottom above my knee? No.

High waisted jeans with whatever top comes to mind? Absolutely not.

I sighed in frustration, I absolutely had no idea what I was going to wear. I pushed over the hangers to the other side of the closet, coming across a bright blue puffed up jacket that caught my eye.

It wasn't what I expected.

I remembered it. I remembered that jacket that made me think I earned everything. I pushed it off the hanger, taking a better look at it as my thumb brushed up the knitted, yellow 'R' that was patched on the top. It still smelled just like Erik. It smelled freshening with a faded scent of his cologne. I still had his letterman jacket and didn't even realize.

I snapped out of my thoughts as I clutched onto the jacket against my chest. I heard Darry calling my name as his heavy steps were walking closer down to my room. I turned around, coming face to face with Darry.

"I made up my mind," I said lowly, still aiming my stare on him, "I want to be enrolled. Now."