You seem to always find your way back even when I never wanted you too. You come back into my life Just to make me feel so ashamed all over again. You have been hiding all this time in one of the rooms in my house, but I was too scared like a muse to find out. I was so alone where you had left me locked away in a cold darken room, You say: ''What has been going on all this time you had been away.'' I would just look at him with no words I can tell he was up to no good, I could see he was lying another time around, Just to see what I would say.
All this time he has been playing more head games, he is my abuser, My nightmare. I would hear his words saying to me: ''You're so sad, why are you sad my darling? '' I could see the smile on his face as he would speak walking towards me. What do you see my psychic queen, Come on tell me your dreams! It's the age we now live in, so go on love your sadness, because I love seeing you in a big dirty mess, people will only think you are losing your mind
because they are all on my side.
Don't you hear the latest gossip, you are like a little sad doll that no one wants, I just looked at him with tears flowing from my eyes. He pushed me down like I was an animal, his abuse cut me very deep, all I could do is scream, but no one could ever hear me. And if they did, they didn't care to help me. I had to learn to build up the courage I had to face the facts and stay fair-minded and fearless, I needed to get away... When I did I would count my blessings, soon I started to live my own life, I bout me a coat and got me a dog.
I even started dancing in the cold pouring autumn rain just to wash away all my pains. But no matter what I did these old memories started making its way back. I felt fear all the time, I had to look over my shoulders I look to the right and to the left. My sadness had started all over again.
I would see him in my sleep, that is when I started having bad dreams, When I would awake I started to scream. I would remember everything, I started seeing his shadows on the wall why he was walking down the hall. Oh, how I could hear him calling my name. here comes the pain, he is my critic, my abuser, my living nightmare. But when it was all said and done I still kept moving on.
-Judy Emery © 1990 The Queen Of Darken Dreams Poetic Lilly Emery
YOU ARE READING
MEMORIES
PoetryMemories are things that come to me in happiness or sadness of sorrows, so I made poetry. Old memories you will always be a very big part of me.
