Life lessons

Listen to understand

We talk we listen but the question is do we listen to speak or do we listen to understand?
What's the difference?
Listen to speak means: when a person tells you something that was very hard for him/her to tell anyone, and you just starts telling them your opinion. For e.g.
If i tell someone about my mistake in the past and that person replies me like agar mai teri jagah hoti toh mai aisa na krti ya aise karti ( if i would have been in your place I would not do this). If you have experienced or you are that person who reacts in this way then you have to stop.  I am not saying that you don't have any right to state your opinion or perspective. I am saying that  
instead of making that person feel horrible and regret her decision to tell you something you should try to understand her.
You were not in her place. She already had hard time because of it and now you are making her feel guilty for the mistake she did in past.
You just have to listen to her, and instead of reacting like if i was in you place( bcoz you wasn't and can't be in her place and every person reacts differently, feels differently) and making her feel miserable try to understand that how much it took her to confess and accept that fact .
Tell her that you are proud of her. It's ok because it was something that happend in past and now you are a better person. And it's not only about past mistake or something. I am trying to say that don't make others feel guilty to feel a certain way, to react a certain way and for what they are going through and experienced in life.  They are telling you about their problems bcoz they trust you, don't make them feel that bad for opening themselves to you.
I have experienced this situation many time and i was both, a person feeling guilty to open up about my feelings and a person who made other person feel bad. But isn't it life is all about. We fail, we do mistakes but then we learn.