Have you ever lose someone?, someone who was close to you, someone who was your everything, someone you can't imagine your life. In this journey of life you are gonna loose people that were your everything Have you ever feel empty, like you feel that there is something missing? Feel like you are incomplete, you feel empty when someone who completes your life is missing. I felt this 3 years ago when that person left me alone, that person who was my world, my grandmother. And then you regret, regret every time you made that person upset, you regret to hurt that person,you regret that u just couldn't say goodbye to that person. U couldn't hugged that person and confess how my you love her, how important that person is to you. It's hurts so much that you are only left with the memories. You miss that person that you start missing yourself, because the day you loose that person you lost an important part of yourself. No one literally no one can take her place,i never knew that what she was to me until she left me alone. I have my family, i have friends but no one can take her place, no one can make me feel love, i feel alone with so much people around me. It hurts so much ,i thought that i will forget her but its been 3 year but it feels the same this feeling that she is no more feels the same ,my heart cries the same like the day she left me. If one thing i want is i want to meet her for once just once i want to hug her and tell her that plzz don't leave me don't leave me, i will die without you, i can't live without you. I can't i am trying to feel alive but i just can't, i am try to live but I can't, I don't feel like i used to feel before i feel that there is something missing in me i feel empty , my heart is hollow and no one can make me feel . Why did you left me alone,u know i was not ready for this world and still you left me alone, I thought i forget you but I can't and i know it's never gonna feel the same i want you back. I want to irritate you, i want to make you laugh, i want you to scold me, i want to hug you , i want you to wipe my tears, i want you to tell me that i am your fav. Granddaughter. It's been 3 years I don't know how to live without you. I want you to see me and realise that your small daughter have grown up so much, how much responsible she has become, how much strong she has got. Please come back. My heart is aching. I feel like i will die . It's getting difficult and i think i can never let you go because you are a part of my heart,that part of my heart that is inseparable. 3 years and still I can't accept that you are no more. I can never see you, i can never hear your voice and i have to live without you till my last breath. I have to live forever with this crying heart. I cry and cry but this pain is not going. And i think that it will never go. You made me complete and with you i lost that part of me that made me feel alive. I don't remember you everyday bcoz i know by remembering you my heart will ache. I never knew that i loved you so much that it hurts . I smile, i get happy but I don't feel, I don't feel anything. I feel like i am just pretending to be happy, that broken smile. Truth is i can never be happy without you, I can never feel alive without you. I fear to think about you bcoz i know i will broken down again and it's difficult to smile again. To not cry, to not feel sad. It's taking so much to get going with life when i think that there is no point in living. Every day i think that it's going to be ok but 3 years and i never felt ok till this day. I can smile, i can look that i am happy but i know that i am empty inside. I don't have any hope to live a life. I have everything but what i want is you. I know that everything that is not going good will be fine but this will not change 10 year 20 years till the day i die, my heart will always cry for you. I always think that i am heartless, I don't care if anyone leaves me but the truth is i am afraid, I don't want to feel that pain again bcoz i will not be able to stand this time. I am afraid that if they will also leave me alone,like you did i will broke so much that this time i will not be able to be fine. I was so small that time, i wanted you and i just couldn't realise what was happening i was running away from the reality and sometimes still i run from it bcoz every time I remember you, I shatter. When you left me m, i was so numb to react i used to think that it's just a bad dream i used to think that u will come back. I used to see you in my dreams everyday that u r alright u will come and still i see you in my dreams and those dreams feels so real but the reality is that you are not gonna come not today, not tomorrow never. U left me just like that without saying me anything u just left me like that. I was not ready to live without you and i think i can be prepare to live without you .How can you leave me here alone? U loved me so much and still you left me like that. One day you were with me and next day you left me. I wish that u were with me when i was crying , when i had bad days ,i wanted you. I want to go back in past and want to be with you. That person who was my everything. I know you are with me but i know you are not with me. No one can calm my heart bcoz you are the reason it hurts. My tears can never stop because the reason i am crying is you. That person that made my life happy, colourful is not with me. If you are watching me i want to tell you that i am not ok and I can't be ok without you, please come back. Come back and tell me you are with me. No one can imagine what you were to me. You were that person of my life I don't want to live without. And this heart is gonna ache forever and my eyes are always gonna tear up whenever i am gonna think about you. I can't tell what i feel every time i miss you. And i think no one can stop this broken heart of mine. I don't let anyone to make place in my heart bcoz i m afraid, afraid to be alone. U made me realised that i can go through any thing, nothing is gonna hurt me more than the fact that u are no more. I know the reality but to accept it is difficult and if i say that i have accepted this but still I can't fully accept it. If i am living without you i can live without anyone.
Today is her birthday, i forgot it, i realised just now, it is 04:21 AM and I literally forgot it. Maybe that's why i was missing her so much. I just edited this part after i published it 3hrs ago.I pray that she is happy there with God. Happy birthday dadi 🎉🎉 apkae birthday pa mai toh gol gappe ka cake laungi😂😂.
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[ i have put a video above and it's really emotional. That guy is singing the song for his beloved wife that died a year ago, that year when they got married, and that guy really made me feel what i trued to put in words, i was thinking to write something else but wrote something else]
