The Key to My Heart (Or to Baz's Diary)

A Heart Given

Baz

My eyes blink lazily at the morning light filtering through the curtains. I'm fully awake when I register the fingers threading through my hair. My mouth forms a lazy grin.

"Morning," Simon whispers, pressing a light kiss to my brow.

"Morning," I respond, making a move to sit up. Simon leans into me and wraps his arms around my middle.

"Want to get some breakfast?" I say. Simon nods once into my shoulder and we slide off of the bed.

As I turn the doorknob I feel a hand grab for mine, and my fingers automatically thread themselves through Simon's as we make our way downstairs.

"Baz?" I hear as we pad into the kitchen.

"Yeah?" There's a long silence before I get an answer.

"How long have you... liked me? I know it shouldn't be important or anything now that we're together, but I guess I was just wondering. You always acted as if you couldn't stand me back at Watford."

The question stops me in my tracks, and I turn to face Simon. "I, -it's been a little bit, that's for sure." Stumbling, I find myself unable to give a straight answer. The vulnerabilities from these past few years all seem to be coming back to me.

Simon is looking at me expectantly, somehow understanding my inability to answer the question. After a few more seconds, he places an understanding hand on my shoulder, squeezing lightly before turning away.

"What do you want to eat?" He asks, rummaging through the refrigerator. At this point, I couldn't care less. I'm too caught up in what Simon must be thinking. My answer before was vague enough, though he must be onto me.

"Whatever we have is fine." I respond. With that, he pours a glass of milk for each of us, and I can't help but smile at how Simon it is to drink milk instead of coffee in the morning. He pads back over to the counter and puts two slices of bread in the toaster before sitting across from me at the table.

I must have a look of sheepishness on my face, because he places a hand overtop mine. "Baz," Simon starts. "Forget I asked, okay?"

It's like accepting defeat, but I nod, thinking of how badly I want to tell Simon not just how long I've liked him, but of all the years I've loved him. Soon, I tell myself.

"I started realizing I liked you on this trip Baz. There were times when I guessed you were crushing on me- guess that was part of what sparked my feelings for you."

Before I can give a response, the sound of the toaster gets Simon up again. I stare at his seat until he returns with two plates of toast and some butter.

"Don't look at me like that. Just eat, Baz." So we do, sitting in what is mostly comfortable silence.

Simon

After we finish eating, Baz pulls me in for a brief kiss before letting me know he has something to do. I decide it's better not to question him any further, and let him get to whatever it is he plans on getting done.

I walk into the living room and plop down on the couch with a content little sigh. These past few days have felt amazing.

One thing won't get out of my mind, though. It's the notion that Baz had a look of apprehension about him after I asked him how long he liked me. I know he does, it's no secret now that we're dating, but I can't help wanting to know why he couldn't answer me properly.

I lie down in silence for a few more minutes, just staring at the ceiling, before deciding to look for him. I'm curious as to just what he's doing at the moment.

Walking up the stairs, I pause at the top of the staircase, not knowing which room Baz went to. A few beats of silence pass before my feet begin to move.

I stop in front of the reading room and peek inside. The door is only open a sliver, but I can make out Baz perfectly. It was the sound that led me here, and I know I won't be able to tear my eyes away.

Baz is playing the violin. Eyes shut, seemingly at peace as he pulls the bow across the strings. It's a mystery to me just how long I must've been staring, though I've ever heard a sound so pleasant. Suddenly a soft smile creeps onto my face, and it's the thought that Baz has something he loves that puts it there.

When Baz concludes the current piece, I push the door open gently, hoping to alert him of my presence. He looks startled for a moment, more so at the thought that I'd been watching the entire piece being played than anything else.

"That sounded beautiful, Baz." I breathe, breaking the silence, he only blinks up at me in return for a moment.

"Thank you," He says, shyly looking away.

With that, I walk over to where Baz sits in the middle of the room, tilting his chin until he's looking at me. "I mean it, you play beautifully."

He tries to look away again, but I've got a solid grip. Instead, I decide to kiss Baz lightly, and he responds with a gasp, hands flying up to grip my shirt.

"You should play more often," I murmur. "I like it when you do."

I'm met with a grin then, "If you like it, then how can I say no."

"You want to stay and play a bit more, or are you going to come with me back to the room?"

"I'm coming," Baz says, placing the violin back into its case.

Baz

Learning that Simon had been listening to me -enjoying it even- was something of a shock. I was flattered and embarrassed all at once.

Making our way down the hallway, Simon stops to go to the bathroom, letting me know he'll be at our room in a minute.

I don't know what it is that comes over me. It's a reckless thought really. Before I can give it a second thought, or regret what I'm about to do- I do it.

Simon

The door to Baz's room is closed when I get there, and I knock lightly before pushing it open.

A quick scan of the room tells me that Baz isn't here. Where could he have gone? I walk over to the attached bathroom and find it to be empty as well.

Walking back to the main bedroom, my eyes fall on something. I can feel myself go still, insides and all. Shakily, I step forward until my knees give out and I'm sitting on the sofa in front of the fireplace.

I can't peel my eyes away from the table. What have you done, Baz? Is my only thought.

Because lying in front of me is not the thing I believed to be plotting and schemes. It's a boy and his thoughts. A book and a key that were meant for no ones eyes but his.

Tears spring to my eyes as the thought registers.

This is the key to Baz's heart.

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Hey guys! The next chapter I post will be the finale of this fic, and so I just wanted to thank all of you for your love once again! :) 

I'm really happy you guys are enjoying this, and I promise you the last chapter will be well worth it! 

-Beezeena ;)