Molly | Herophine

Chapter 32: All or Nothing

Un-fucking believable!

How could she play with me like this? I would have never thought she is capable of such manipulation. Granted that my heart almost burst in happiness listening to her say that she wants to keep me and our baby and that she loves me too much that she's willing to sacrifice her career to have a family with me... damn it! I felt like I just won the fucking lottery. But that's beside the point now is it? She kept me from having to make the decision-a decision that won't only change her life, but mine as well. She fucking decided for both of us. I never thought of her as a cunning woman who would tie me down to her forcibly.

But you love her either way you dumbass so what's the fucking problem?

I do love her but she needs to understand that what she did was wrong... so incredibly wrong and selfish.

I already know I won't be able to sleep for the rest of the night and it's still two in the morning. What the fuck am I going to do before I have to be at hair and makeup for my tattoos? I put on my trainers and go straight to the hotel's gym. Might as well blow off all this steam; I still have two hours to spare before I need to shower and head to set. With Jo's words ringing and echoing in my head, I run on the treadmill until I feel like my lungs are burning and my legs are numb. The rest of the time I spend lifting weights and going at it on the punching bag. By the time my two hours is up, my body is dead tired but my mind is clearer and my heart feels lighter-a world of a difference from how I was feeling before I came in the gym. My anger has considerably been diminished but my exhaustion is taking a toll on my body.

So after taking off my soaked shirt and wiping off the sweat from my body, I make my way straight to the only place where I immediately become stronger and happier and just... alive. I go straight to Jo's room and open her door without warning, crawling into bed behind her and wrapping my arms around her small soft and warm body which is shaking as she cries.

The moment my skin touches hers, the moment I inhale her intoxicating scent, the moment she is within my arms, all my anger and exhaustion disappear. It is by her side that I am the happiest, that I am my strongest, that I feel more alive than I will probably ever will be.

"Im so-"

"Hush love," I cut her off her cry. "I love you," I whisper into her ear before kissing the back of her head and tightening my hold of her.

"I love you Hero," she sobs, her shoulders trembling. By the sound of her hoarse voice, she must have been crying since I left her room a few hours ago. My heart stings at the thought that once again, I caused those tears to fall down her beautiful face. The worst part about all of this is that I even went as far as calling her a manipulative bitch.

Bloody hell!

I let my emotions get the best of me yet again. Just like how I let my emotions overpower my better and sound judgement when I saw her with Timothy before. Fuck! I just can't get it right with her. When it comes to Jo, my emotions are always in the extremes. All or nothing. Always.

"You should sleep, love. We still have a long day ahead."

She wipes her tears with her hand as she takes deep, long breaths to calm herself down. After a few moments, she yawns, "What about you?" Her body relaxing back to me, her arms securing mine against her like she's afraid I'd eventually pull away and leave her again.

"I'll just lay here for a while before I head to set. Tattoo day, love. I have to be there with Mitchell by five," I explain, closing my eyes.

"Okay," she squeaks, her voice so small and unsure.

"Don't worry, I'm no longer mad babe," I tell her, answering the question that is hanging between us. "And I'm sorry for calling you names," I rasp sheepishly. This time, it's my voice that cracks with so much emotion. There's a possibility that she might be carrying my baby right now and I just called the mother of my child a manipulative bitch.