My Older Alpha Mate

chapter sixteen

I woke up to Ashton's bed with no Ashton. I stretched in the large bed and slid my hand across the silk sheets as last night's memories flooded into my head again, causing me to hum in pleasure. I sat up slowly and slid out of bed walking into the connected bathroom. I looked in the mirror and saw that my hair was a mess which caused me to giggle quietly to myself. I slid my hair into a large messy bun and noticed the mark on my throat that practically glowed, begging to be seen. I ran the tips of my fingers over the bruise, admiring the purple-ish, grey color it was. I smiled faintly and looked under Ashton's sink, searching for a packaged toothbrush I could use. 

As soon as I opened the cabinet opened, a box of condoms fell out along with an empty pregnancy test box. My lips parted and I clamped my hand over my mouth to avoid any further noise being made. I looked at the materials, unsure how to feel about them. I shook my head and stuffed them back into the drawer, my hands shaking my head now. I settled for mouth wash and rinsed my face off. Next, I went to find my clothes and noticed them folded neatly on his bare nightstand. I slid my clothes on from the night before, leaving his shirt folded on his bed. I tried to sneak down the stairs and creep around the corner so I wouldn't have to confront my issues just yet. But, like everything else, it didn't happen how I wanted it to.

"Good morning, Angel," His powerful voice boomed through the house effortlessly. I froze in my tracks and didn't bother turning around. "Hey, good morning. I'm not feeling too well so I'm going to go home. Thanks for your help," I called out loud enough so he could hear me and hurried out of the packhouse through the front door, closing it behind me. I walked to the nurses' cabin and I didn't even realize until my feet stopped in front of it. My brain was rocking with conclusions begging to be made.

I winced as my wolf whispered little insecurities to me. I shook my head and turned my wolf off entirely, walking through the doors of the small cabin. I walked in to see a receptionist who greeted me with a cheery smile. I reciprocated and asked to speak to Lucy and was told that she would be available shortly and to take a seat. I obeyed and sat in the uncomfortable waiting room seats offered. 

My brain ran through the events that happened last night. I had never felt a pain so harsh in my life. I shook my head as my brain brought me back to this morning's encounter. What did that mean? Had he gotten another girl pregnant? I figured he had sex before me because of his age and skill but I couldn't stop thinking about if he was a father to some woman's child. The thought sent shivers down my spine and caused me to subconsciously shake without realizing. "Everything okay, Luna?" Lucy stood in front of me, her glowing aqua eyes displaying concern. I nodded, standing up quickly. "Let's go to my office," Lucy said, moving to walk out of the waiting room and into the back where her room was. 

I sat on the medial bed in her office as she closed the door and sat in her spinny doctor chair. "What's going on?" She asked, nudging her large-framed glasses up her nose. "I went into heat last night... I just wanted to check back up to see if there was any precaution I should be taking," I said, trailing off, boring myself with my own words. She nodded and wrote some stuff down on a clipboard and then asked me a few standard questions about nausea and some other stuff. She nodded and left the room, leaving her computer unlocked from entering my information.

I bit the inside of my cheek as she walked out of the room. I quickly hopped off the medical bed, wedging the chair under the handle of the door to lock it and began seeing if I had access to all patients, which I did. I bit my lip and used the mouse to go into the search bar, immediately searching, 'Ashton Lakewood' and scrolling down to click the name that was revealed. I scrolled through his file, seeing many more entries than I expected. "Fighting scars, fighting scars, busted lip, broken wrist, fighting scars, potential preg.- Bingo," I whispered to myself, clicking to file and reading it as fast as I could when the door handle wiggled above the chair. I gasped quietly as Lucy asked if I was okay from the other side of the door.

I quickly whipped out my phone and took pictures, scrolling until I finished the relatively brief file. "Yes... I just felt nauseous and didn't want you to have to walk in on me vomiting! Coming now... Sorry!" I said, ripping the chair from the handle and putting it back where it was. I quickly closed the file and told her to come back in which she did, smiling softly with concern. "Thank you for coming in so we could check up on you. Everything is looking good and you made my job a lot easier today! Thank you!" She smiled and I nodded, sliding off the table and walking out of the door.

"Wait! Aurora!" She called from behind me, walking quickly. I squeezed my eyes shut and crossed my fingers, spinning on my heels to look at her. "Jake told me you asked him to come see me... We're dating now and things feel right... Thank you so much!' She smiled big, reveling a small gap between her teeth I never noticed. I nodded and smiled hard, nervous and eager to leave. I gave her a "no problem!" and rushed out of the facility. 

As soon as I was outside, I walked along the sidewalk, shivering due to the cold. I pulled my phone out, eager to read the information I gathered. My eyes scanned the text, making sure I read every word. "Patient, Alpha Ashton Lakewood, brought in female, 18, in regards to possible pregnancy.  Pregnancy was confirmed." I stopped reading, tears fogging my eyes. "Hey! Are you okay?" I heard a voice call out behind me, causing me to shove my phone into my pocket and spinning around to see Liv with concerned eyes. 

"Oh, honey, you look terrible," She said, walking towards me quicker now, peeling her jacket off her arms and sliding it over my shoulder. I shook my head and leaned into her arm, letting tears roll now my cheeks. She walked me home where Ashton sat on my porch step, apparently waiting for me. He stood when he saw me, showing relief in his face. Liv leaned down and kissed my cheek and asked me if I was okay. I nodded and she walked behind Ashton and into the house. 

"Are you okay? You stormed out this morning and then I couldn't find you. I really needed to talk to you this morning," He spoke in his alpha voice which would have intimidated me if my brain wasn't distracted. "Can we talk?" I asked, my voice cracking from the cold air filling my throat. He studied my face and showed no emotion but nodded and opened the front door for me. I walked inside and hung up Olivia's jacket and walked up the stairs to my room. I heard Ashton behind me and I prayed that my body would be strong enough to get me up these stairs and I didn't faint. I felt light-headed and nauseous, my anxiety now striking me ill.

I finally got into my room and slid on a sweater from my closet. Ashton walked in behind me, closing my bedroom door and watched me with crossed arms. I sat on my bed and looked him with dead eyes, the feeling of numbness gradually taking over my body. "You got another girl pregnant?" I asked faintly, so quietly that I barely heard myself. His facial features changed as he looked into my eyes and realized that I knew. "Aurora," He reached out for me but I pulled my shoulder away, staring at him with cold eyes now. He sighed and scratched the back of his neck, sitting on the chair in my room adjacent to me. "I was eighteen and I thought she was my mate. It was all an accident and it wasn't supposed to happen," He started. I listened and slowly nodded my head. Eighteen seems so far away from him but it also feels so far away from me. Our age gap was once again highlighted in a problematic situation.

"Where is she?" I asked gently, nervous to hear the answer. "She's gone. She left the village. She was a shoulder to cry on when my father and I were going at each other's throats. She was something good in a crowd of bad and I was young," He explained further. I nodded slowly and then asked the question I was dreading most.

"Where's the kid?" My voice trembled slightly as my stupid crybaby tears threatened to fall yet again. He shook his head and responded, "She had a miscarriage," He said, showing no emotion in his face. As bad as it sounds, a wave of relief washed over me, causing me to feel my body again and breathe normally. I no longer felt strained or freezing cold, just normal. It all happened so fast and I sat in a slight trance of fear due to what my body was doing to me, it was nothing like I had ever seen before. Ashton watched me as it all happened and approached me slowly, sitting next to me. I was okay with this now. 

"What is wrong with me, Ashton?" I whimpered out, tears falling from my eyes again yet again. The feeling was nothing like I had ever felt before. "I felt so out of control like I was on autopilot and I could just watch myself do things and I was just cold. So, so cold," I shook my head and crawled into his arms that he offered. He stroked my hair and kissed my forehead gently, seeming to understand my babbling. 

Why is having a mate so difficult?