Lee Felix Is Not Okay | Changlix

Chapter 10

"Alright well Woojin, Seungmin, and I are gonna go shopping, do any of you guys want to come?" Chan questioned the other six members of his group.

Currently, they were in the lobby of the hotel they'd be staying in, figuring out what they wanted to do first. It was 5pm and everyone was itching to get out and go something.

"Actually Jisung and I are going to check out the pool." Minho gestured to the younger and Chan nodded.

"What about you guys? Changbin, Jeongin, Felix, Hyunjin?"

"I wanna go swimming too!" The youngest of the group bounced with excitement.

"Yeah I think I'm also up for swimming. Felix, Hyunjin, wanna join?" Changbin questioned the last two boys, particularly Felix.

Felix was going to accept, he actually wanted to enjoy this trip and he had even packed swim trunks, but he was reminded suddenly of the bandages concealing the cuts on his arms and decided against it. He rubbed his arm slightly.

"Ah...no, I think I just wanna go to the room and relax..." Felix looked Changbin in the eyes and glanced quickly down at his arms, Changbin's mouth making a small "O" as he nodded in realization.

"Yeah I wanna go to the room too." Hyunjin spoke up and Changbin looked at him, squinting his eyes.

Felix swallowed his nerves. "Yeah, so Hyunjin and I will just go unpack." Felix offered a weak smile to Changbin who didn't accept immediately.

"Felix, are you sure?" Changbin asked seriously. "You could always just hang out by the pool, you don't have to swim." Changbin really didn't want to leave Hyunjin alone with Felix. "Or I could go up with you, I could honestly just swim later."

Felix shook his head, declining Changbin's offers. "No, it's alright. You go have fun, I really just want to be in the room for a little while." Changbin looked at Felix and bit his lip before sighing in defeat and speaking.

"Okay...whatever you want." Changbin returned the smile Felix gave him earlier, ending the conversation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Soon, everyone had gotten ready and gone their separate ways, leaving Felix and Hyunjin alone in their hotel room. Felix nervous, and Hyunjin, well, Felix didn't know how Hyunjin felt.

"So." Was the first thing Hyunjin said to him after finishing unpacking his stuff, flopping down on what Felix had claimed as his bed and making Felix flinch reflectively.

Felix looked down at Hyunjin, who was looking up at him.

"So?"

"So you like Changbin right? I mean, I assume."

Felix creased his brows, is this really what Hyunjin wanted to do right now?

"...Not right now Hyunjin, please." Felix didn't want to deal with this, not while they were on vacation and he finally had a way to catch a break from all the stress he'd built up these past few months. Could Hyunjin not respect that? Did he not also want a break?

"What? I'm just asking, I mean, I already know but I just wanted to be respectful and ask anyways. But whatever, it's not like it matters. Like I said before, he wouldn't like you anyways. You're pathetic Felix. I don't know why anyone even care-"

"Stop." Felix was shaking. Felix was angry, he was upset, he felt betrayed that someone he once thought cared about him could be so cold and heartless towards him. He hated this.

Hyunjin looked at Felix in surprise as if he hadn't expected him to actually say anything. "What?"

Felix was silent for a second. "...I said...stop. Please. God. I already know I'm pathetic. I know everyone hates me, you think I don't? I know how fucking ugly and fat and useless I am, I'm a burden. You don't have to tell me. I hate myself enough, I already want to fucking kill myself enough, please stop." Felix shook as he spoke, tears already falling.