MOONLIGHT IS TRYING TO SURVIVE

SODDEN

I could feel the anger when I sleep
I felt your hands all over me
I felt I couldn't breathe
I am fighting for air
But you didn't care
You rolled me over while covering my mouth
you shouted so loud for me to be quiet
I became sodden in my own tears
while you were making me impure
I slowly moved away from you
while you put the knife in my back
I felt the coldness of your heart
dig deep inside my soul
you twist the old dagger around
that's when I cried out in horror
you grab me and dragged me down the hall
you almost have broken my arm
my fingers gently reaching for yours
that is when he slammed me hard on the wet floor
I could see a doorway
where a light is shining bright
that is when he pushed my face in my own blood
I tried hard to not make a big fuss
I could see murder in his eyes
he wanted to take me to my grave
but just then he changed his mind
When I looked away
he slapped me in the face
I tried to embrace the pains he gave
I felt disillusion
when I have seen my own friend had changed
they were standing in the doorway
with no care in their hearts for me
they had become my number one enemies
right along with him, that hurt me
I will always remember my abuser and user
while the words of my enemies
telling me how it's all my fault
for what has happened to me
I became very lost
broken in shame
every time I would tell anyone how I felt
they just looked down on me
and would disrupt me while I was speaking
like I was never there
But I am stronger now
I won't let them disrupt me ever again
I won't let my abuser corrupt me any longer
when I speak they will all hear
things had changed where I stand
I still can remember when my abuser
walked over to me and bite my lips
I garbed hold of him to push him away
but that is when he wanted to fight me
he has broken my spirit
leaving me on the wet ground
just for me to bleed out like ink
while my spirit was slowly dying
but with time I absolve.

-Judy Emery © 1993 The Queen Of Darken Dreams Poetic Lilly Emery