Spider-man Oneshots

Hyper Peter

Peter Leaned against the counter, his fingers tapping away on his new stark phone without a care in the world. The elivator dinged, followed by the sound of rusting plastic bags. Clint waddled into the kitchen, his arms full of groceries. Peter set his phone down and procceeded to help Clint haul the bags onto the counter and put their contents in their propper places.

"I hate shopping." Clint pouted.

"Then maybe you shouldn't have switched the salt and the sugar." Peter retorted.

Clint had done the stupidest thing he could have possible thought of and switched the salt and the sugar after Tony had pulled three all nighters. It was originally meant as a prank on Steve to mess with his cooking, but it backfired when the sleep deprived billionaire shuffled into the kitchen and decided to put sugar in his coffee.

Now Tony was punishing Clint for messing with his "reason for living." Clint called BS and said that PETER was his reason for living. To which Tony replied, "Yeah, but no amount of salt could affect how sweet that kid is."

Clint decided to test that theory.

Using the fact that he had to do the grocery shopping to his advantage, he bought a little something extra. He wasn't counting on Peter being alone, but luck was on his side.

Peter pulled out the contents of the last bag and set them on the counter. The teen pulled out a black can with a green logo on it and his face twisted into one of confusion.

"Uncle Clint, what is this?" He asked, not knowing what he was holding.

Perfect. Cling thought.

"Oh. That's just a new drink that kids are drinking these days. I thought you might want one." Clint smiled innocently.

"I've never heard of it actually." Peter scrunched up his nose.

"Go ahead and give it a try. If you don't like it then I wont buy it again."

Peter shrugged and popped open the can, taking a small sip of the bubbling liquid. His eyes lit up when the sweet taste hit his tongue and he took a big gulp of it. "It's not bad." He took another drink.

About half an hour later, the elevator dinged again. Tony, Steve, Natasha and Rhodey walked into the dark livingroom, unaware of the horror that awaited them. Rhodey felt a crunch under his feet. He bent down and picked up the now empty monster can.

"Um Tones? Why is this here?" Rhodey asked.

Clint, having heard their voices, dashed out from behind the couch and shoved the four of them back into the elevator.

"What the hell Clint!?" Tony shouted.

"Don't! Don't go out there!" Clint shouted desperately.

Steve rose an eyebrow at him. "What did you do?"

Natasha's eyes widened and she snatched the can from Rhodey. She looked frantically between the can and Clint, silently praying the assassin wasn't stupid enough to do what she thinks he did.

"Please tall me you didn't-" She was cut off by a crashing sound.

The four of them crowded around the doors and pried them open enough to peak through while Clint hid behind them. The lights were off, the only illumination coming from the half moon through the open window.

A shadow ran passed the door, and the sound of a creepy laugh sent shivers down their spines. Clint jumped back and cowered in the corner of the cramped space. Natasha glared at him angrily.

"Barton, what did you do?" She hissed at him.

"I-I came home after shopping and he- Oh god. I swear he only had a sip!"

Tony's head spun around so fast that his neck cracked. "YOU GAVE PETER A MONSTER!?" Tony shrieked. "ARE YOU INSANE?!"

Suddenly, the sound of someone giggling echoed through the elevator. All of them whirled around to see a pair of shinning brown eyes peaking at them through the doors.

IT. WAS. TORTURE.

Peter would run around the room a few times before stopping to look through the crack in the doors at the terrified avengers. He would giggle creepily and then scurry off back into the darkness. It went on for about half an hour, but to them, it felt like HOURS.

The lights flickered on and someone called out in the living room. "It's safe to come out now."

The elevator doors opened slowly and the five trapped heroes fell out of the tiny room in a heap. All of them panting for fresh air. Clint was the first to his feet and glanced around the room in fear.

"Where d-did he go?" He stuttered.

Bruce jabbed his thumb over his shoulder at the mound of pillows and couch cushions. There, the spiderling lay snuggled up in a blanket, a peaceful smile on his face.

"What's with you guys?" Bruce asked.

"NEVER-"

"GIVE-"

"PETER-"

"CAFFINE-"

"AGAIN."

The five of them said one word each.

Bruce gave them a look that said, "Well duh, I could have told you that."

Peter hummed in his sleep and turned over, causing his victims to jump back in terror. Clint's eyes rolled to the back of his head and he passed out.

Bruce shook his head at his teammates and thought, Idiots.

The next morning, Peter was back to his usual bubbly self. However, whenever he would ask for something with even an ounce of sugar in it, the avengers would drop everything and run in terror.

Clint screamed like a girl and ran into a wall one day when peter came home from school holding an un-opened monster that MJ had given him.

Lets just say that Clint learned his lesson and no one would ever give Peter caffeine again.

Much to the spider-kid's confusion.