Only to Feel This Fully [Completed]

Ch. 4: The Moon is High Like Your Friends

Tate's party unfolded as expected. I went with Eva, Patrick, and a few other people. We had met at Patrick's house and then Julia, a junior and our one friend with a license, drove us there. She didn't drink so the situation worked out, but god knows why she'd want to be at a Tate house party sober. Fear of missing out, I decided. Eva and I both hated the taste of beer, so we usually brought vodka mixed with cranberry juice. Eva's older sister had told us that was what she and all her sorority sisters drank at state back when we first started drinking, so we figured that's what we'd go with. The guys from football usually called me a pussy for not drinking beer, but some mild teasing was better than that god-awful taste in my mouth all night.

We arrived a bit late. Our little pregame had dragged on longer than expected and we (minus Julia) were all quite tipsy by the time we reached Tate's. Still, the first thing I noticed when I entered the house was Theo, in a back corner, talking amongst some people, presumably his friends. We made eye contact almost instantly, but I averted my gaze so as not to seem like I was gawking at him.

At parties, Eva liked to go to the kitchen straight away, something about wanting to be at the center of it all. Like normal, she dragged Patrick, Julia and I to the kitchen area, which was always the focal point of Tate's parties because that's where all the alcohol was. Tate was there and I knew we'd have to talk to him at some point--he was the host after all--but, I hadn't expected it to be so soon. He had spotted us and was making his way over, ditching some group of juniors from our school. When he reached us, he seemed genuinely happy we'd come, "hey, glad you could make it!"

"Eves, Charlie, I know y'all don't care for beer, so there's some Goldschlager and apple juice for a mixer in the fridge in the garage for ya." I was genuinely shocked that he had been that considerate, seeing as we weren't really friends and Eva had a boyfriend. Eva and I went to get the liquor and, when we came back, it became more apparent why Tate was being so thoughtful. We had left a trio, but by the time we came back, it was mostly a two-way conversation between Tate and Julia, with Patrick relegated to basically an observer. He gave us a look that said thank god, you guys are back.

The conversation opened up more when we returned. It hadn't clicked yet that Tate was flirting with Julia, who had always been on the more studious side. I can't remember her ever talking to a boy seriously. Eva caught my eye and gave me a look and that's when I realized. That sly bastard, I thought, he got us liquor because he wanted to impress Julia. I wasn't mad about it, I concluded. Honestly, I was a bit impressed. I hadn't seen this side of Tate before. He seemed genuine talking to Julia; his eyes transfixed on here and nothing in the room could take them off her.

I guess I had gotten caught up in observing their flirtations because Patrick and Eva snuck off without my noticing. They were probably finding somewhere a bit more secluded to hook up or some more grossly hetero. Fair enough, I thought, but usually, I would be able to stick by Julia when the two of them went off on their own. Not tonight, though. I began making my way around the party, the rest of the Goldschlager and apple juice close at hand. Eva had been kind enough to leave most of it for me. I suppose she knew I would need it more tonight.

I had a few brief conversations with some people I knew from school and a few randos, probably Pine Brook kids, too, but by 1:30, I was way too drunk and completely over this party. I couldn't find Julia anywhere. Usually, she would be wanting to leave around this time, too. I was back to disliking Tate at that moment. I excused myself from being a wallflower to a conversation among some of my team's puck bunnies--they were the managers, so I guess it wasn't nice to call them that--and made my way out onto the back porch. No one was out there because it was the middle of winter, but there was still some comfortable deck furniture and I could sober up outside before finding my way home.