Be Mine - Completed

Chapter 15

"Does anyone else feel more drained after going to literally two days of syllabus week than you have after every finals week we've ever had?" Viv complained, settling into the couch with a glass of wine after her last Friday class.

"Im wefey feo feth!" Alice yelled, words muffled because she was laying face down on the carpet. They had all gotten back from classes and almost immediately collapsed in the living room, exhausted and completely emotionally drained.

"Alice, sweetie, use your big girl words and take your face out of the floor," Jules said patiently like she was talking to a three-year-old, eliciting a laugh from the other girls.

"I said," she threw a glare at Jules, sitting up with her back against the couch so she was sitting in front of Penny, "I'm ready for death. And please, before anyone gets mad at me for talking about death or dying, I need to be able to use my normal vocabulary without feeling guilty."

"Alright, y'all, I think it's time for a check-in," Penny said, absentmindedly playing with Alice's hair. "It's been two days of classes, two days of having to go out in the world, interact with others, and potentially be alone while outside. How's everyone doing?"

"I don't know, man," Alice sighed, taking a sip of her wine. "It's weird. Like there's been a couple of times that I've found myself going about the day and it's like I forget that it happened? Is that bad? Am I a terrible person?"

"No, Al, not at all!" Jules sent her a sad smile from the armchair she was sitting in. "I totally get what your saying, it's like sometimes I'm in class and it just seems like the beginning of any school year. And then something happens, someone says something or something just clicks in my brain and it all comes rushing back and I feel like the worst person in the world. How can I forget?"

"You're not bad people, it's natural. Not to get all scholarly on your asses, but it's your brain's way of protecting itself. We went through a huge trauma and our brain is saying that thinking about this is making us sad and hurting us, so let's not think about it. It's 100% natural and you're not bad people for getting through this in whatever way you can."

"Thanks, Viv." Alice smiled at her, feeling only slightly better than before. "What about you, Pen? How are you holding up?"

"As well as I can be. It's hard going through the motions of every day when I'm so sad all the time. I'm constantly thinking about things that Georgia would have enjoyed. I feel like one of the reasons I'm so exhausted is because of how hard I constantly work on making sure it doesn't show just how sad I am and on acting somewhat normal. I want to do nothing but lay in bed all day, but I know that laying in bed all day will only make me feel worse in the long run."

"Sometimes it's okay to be sad, Pen. Like you said the other day, you need to let yourself feel it, everything you're feeling."

"I know you're right, Jules, but sometimes I wish I was able to put it out of my mind. I don't know how much longer I can do this. I can't focus on anything because every time I try, my mind just comes back to how Georgia would love it or how she would never get to experience it."

"That's not to mention where my thoughts go when they're not on Georgia." Viv sighed, gaining the girl's attention. "It's not like when I don't think about her, my thoughts are happy and good and positive. When I'm not thinking directly about Georgia, I'm thinking about the man that did this. What's he doing? Is he living his life free of fear while we're here, looking over our shoulder every second? Why haven't the police been able to catch him yet? I'm constantly afraid, terrified. I know I act all tough and strong and fearless, and I like to think I usually am, but not this time. I'm so scared of everything you guys."