Be Mine - Completed

Chapter 21

Penny laid in her bed Saturday morning, listening to the vinyl her secret admirer had gotten her. She loved The Who, this record in particular, and she couldn't believe he actually got it for her. She didn't know what to do. She wanted the answer to be spelled out so obviously but it wasn't.

She had Daniel, the amazingly sweet, attractive man who had quickly come to mean so much to her. She'd only known him for about three weeks and she'd already considered him one of her best friends. But that's the thing, the more she got to know him and the closer their friendship became, the farther she got from seeing him as a potential boyfriend.

Then there was her secret admirer. He was the sweetest person she'd ever met. All of his gifts were so extremely thoughtful and clearly picked specifically with her in mind. His notes always brought a smile to her face and he's exactly the kind of boyfriend she would want. Except for the small problem of not having any clue who he is.

Penny couldn't help but feel that one of the only reasons she was thinking about either of them in a romantic way is because of her bucket list and because she wanted to do this for Georgia. When she found out Georgia died, the last thing she wanted to do was think about herself and something as petty as getting a boyfriend or finishing her bucket list. She still didn't have an extremely strong desire to do it. But the girls were right, Georgia loved her bucket list. She loved the idea of doing whatever you can to get the most out of your life. She believed in taking every chance you get because, at the end of the day, you'll have a memory or a story or a lesson to learn from it.

Was that philosophy what got Georgia killed, though? Was she so hellbent on taking every chance she could get that she ignored her gut feelings or put herself in that dangerous situation? Maybe if she hadn't tried to take a chance and talk to whoever that guy was, this wouldn't have happened. If the police were right, then this was a murder of opportunity and Georgia wasn't a target, meaning that had she not put herself in his path, this probably never would have happened.

"Shut the fuck up, Penny." She grumbled to herself, angry that she could even think that any of this was Georgia's fault. Whether she put herself in his path or not, this is not at all her fault. No matter who she talks to or flirts with or what she does, it's not her fault. Nobody deserves what happened to her, nobody invites it upon themselves. It's only that bastard's fault, she scolded herself, nobody else's. Not Georgia's. Not her friends. Not the bartenders. Nobody but the asshole that did this to her. Penny forced herself to refocus before her mind got stuck on thoughts that led to a breakdown.

Clearly both men had feelings for her. Daniel has been flirty since they met, and he even admitted that he didn't like her attention being given to someone else. Her secret admirer wouldn't be sending her gifts and be a secret admirer if he didn't have feelings for her. She didn't want to hurt either of them. She definitely didn't want to lead them on if she didn't have real feelings for them, and the last thing she wants is to jump into a relationship simply to complete a bucket list.

"UGH!" Penny groaned, throwing the covers off herself. "This sucks!"

"Are you just complaining or do you want to talk?" Alice poked her head through the door, startling Penny who thought she was home alone because she hadn't heard any noises all morning.

"I didn't know you were home. I don't know, Al. I don't know what's going on in my head."

"Oh, hon." Alice smiled, walking over and laying down next to Penny in her bed. "You always think you need all the answers, but you don't. It's okay to not know or need to figure things out. You don't always need to have definitive answers to everything."