suicidio

letter to Ana

One.
If you did not have me,
Would you appreciate me more
Than you do now?
Two.
Why did you choose me?
Three.
Is it because I already hate myself?
Does that make me an easier target.
Four.
How could I not hate myself? look at me.
Everyone is always telling me to love and accept myself.
But I know that can never happen as long as your around.
Five.
You do things to me that I would have never imagined.
You've locked me in a room and left me to rot.
Withering away while you grow stronger everyday.
Collecting more people for your army.
Infecting other people with your poison.
Six.
Why did you have to make the food I eat the antidote?
Seven.
Why don't you ever target people who don't hate themselves?
You could at least put in a little work.
Eight.
You've been with me from the very start.
I'd never talk to anyone the way I talk to myself.
Nine.
You hate it when I start to recover so much that you force yourself down my throat,
Only to be brought back up in acid.
Ten.
Dripping, covered in in my lunch.
But still satisfied with your work.
But it's still not enough for you.
It's never enough for you.
I'm not enough for you.
Or anyone else.
Is this why you chose me?