Heya guys here's the next chapter of the story. Really hope you like it. Leave me your feedback.
Niall's Pov:
"Come on lets go sit down" Zayn said, I nodded my head and he took hold of my hand gently. My heart was pounding as we walked back to his bedroom. What was he going to tell me? Was he going to tell me things about his past that would break my heart? Or was he just going to break it by telling me he only cares for the baby? I inhaled deeply when we entered the bedroom. Zayn guided me to the bed and we sat down on it together.
"I don't really know where to start" Zayn whispered.
"Start wherever. Open your mouth and see what words leave first" I replied, Zayn nodded his head.
"It'll all come out wrong Ni" He looked me straight in the eyes and for the first time I saw something I'd never seen fill his eyes. I saw fear. Fear and vulnerability. "I've never done this before. I've never had to do it before. I swore I'd never let anybody get this close to me. But with you I just couldn't stop it" He exclaimed, I took hold of Zayn's hand giving it a gentle squeeze.
"You know you can trust me" I said, Zayn nodded and took a deep breath.
"I didn't have the normal upbringing other kids do. I wasn't raised the way others are. The only parent who ever showed me affection and love was my mum. My dad only taught me how to stand alone and strong. When other kids were learning about feelings and love, I was learning how to break into houses. How to cause someones body so much pain it just shuts down. My dad was turning me into this heartless piece of machine. He used to tell me. The less of a heart you have the more dangerous you come. The more feared you get. If you have no sympathy for people. If you don't let people close enough to hurt you, You'll never be weak" I listened to Zayn's words coming to only one conclusion. His father was a monster. "He made me want to be like him. When I got older and I started to understand things more and more responsibility came on me, I found myself hating him. I found myself not wanting to be like him in the slightest"
"You aren't like him. Not even close" I exclaimed, Zayn smiled weakly at me.
"My dad preached all that shit about being strong and being alone. Not letting anybody break you. The life of a gang leader was the only life he knew. So when my mother came into his life, I guess he couldn't find the will power to leave it all behind. At first she was kept out of danger. When I was ten I'd see her sometimes with black eyes or she'd be missing for a few days and she'd come home with bandages on her. With marks on her face and sometimes she'd be limping and struggling to breathe. When I got older I found out why. My dad put her in danger. She'd end up in the middle of whatever war he was fighting. It'd always end up with her getting hurt. He loved her but he'd let these things happen to her. She'd come home bleeding and in agony and I'd be the one taking her to hospital. I'd be the one with my arms around her while she cried in my shoulder because of the agony" Zayn's eyes filled with tears. I squeezed his hand tightly. "I'd sit by her bedside at night listening to the machines just beeping, Being afraid that they'd do go off and someone would tell me shes gone. I'd bring her home and look after her. I'd do the job my dad should be doing. Most nights I'd be laying in bed and I'd hear her crying her heart out while she thinks I'm sleeping. I'd feel anger towards my dad because he let that happen to her. He told her everyday he loved her, But he didn't stop all that. I didn't wanna be like him Ni. I didn't want to" Zayn cried out. I pulled him close to me and Zayn cried into my shoulder.
"Your nothing like your dad Zayn you hear me? Nothing at all" I assured him as I held him close to me. Zayn slowly nodded his head.
"When I took over the gang. After all the years of seeing my mum suffer at the hands of my dads mistakes, I swore I'd never do that to somebody I love. I swore I'd never put someone through that kind of pain. I guess in a sense I swore I'd never fall inlove" Zayn chuckled. "Pretty stupid of me to say something like that. My mum she'd always say to me I can't not fall inlove. I can pretend but I can't actually do it. She told me someone would come along and steal my heart without me even really noticing it until it was done" Zayn looked me directly in the eyes. "You've done it Niall. You've become that person that took my heart away from me and I don't even want to ask you for it back. From the moment I stopped you running into your parents house. I felt a sense of protection over you. Like you aren't a member of our gang but I still need to look out for you. That feeling I had grew as I got to know you. As I learnt how amazing and strong you are. And I wished, I wished more than anything I could have the strength you have. Were having a baby together Ni. And I want you to be with me. I want to be with me so badly it hurts inside, But I don't deserve it. I don't deserve your love" Zayn exclaimed.
"Why? Why don't you?" I questioned.
"Because of who I am" He whispered.
"That dosen't make sense to me. You aren't some bad person. Your Zayn. The Zayn who noticed I needed comfort when nobody else did. The Zayn who took me out when staying inside was driving me completely mad. The Zayn who printed off pictures of my parents when I lost all mine in the fire. The Zayn who gave us a home and a safe place to live. The Zayn that rubs my back when I'm hovered over the toilet. You don't see what I see Zayn, You never have. When I look at you I don't see a gang leader. I see the father of my baby. The man I'm inlove with" I stated. Tears were rolling down Zayn's cheeks.
"What if you get hurt because of me? I can't see you hurt the way my mother was" He chocked out.
"I won't get hurt. Zayn you aren't your dad. You never will be. You have a heart and you put the people you love before any job you need to do. And I know that if you really wanted to you could walk away from all this and never look back" I could see in Zayn's eyes that he'd do it. "Your father would never do that. You didn't get the love you deserve when you were growing up, But it's here now. My love and the babys love is right here for you" Zayn placed one of his hands on my stomach and the other cupped my cheek.
"I'm scared" He whispered.
"Don't be. We trust you" I looked straight in Zayn's eyes. "I trust you" I stated. Zayn closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"I love you" Zayn looked me directly in the eyes. "I love you so much" He exclaimed, I smiled feeling my heart race at the speed of light.
"I love you too" I replied. Zayn grinned and slowly laid his body down. He opened his arms and I laid in his embrace.
"So are we like together now?" I questioned. Zayn nodded his head.
"Yeah we are" Zayn replied.
"When are we gonna tell the guys?" I asked.
"Tomorrow" Zayn pulled me closer to him and placed his hand on my stomach, I placed my hand ontop of his and we locked our fingers together. "We'll them tomorrow. I just wanna stay like this for a while" Zayn whispered, I nodded my head in understanding. Zayn's past made him fear love. It made him want to shut it out. But now he's let my love in I'll prove to him he has nothing to fear.
