Touch

78.

To say he was sad to see the kids go would be an understatement, and he really had to fight tears when both the older kids requested a goodbye hug.

"Be nice when you get home, okay? Promise?" he said, having one hand on each of the older kids' shoulders. Both kids nodded eagerly at Brett's request.

Eddy leaned against the doorframe and watched the scene unfold. He could hear the slight change in Brett's tone, and it hurt. In an attempt to make it better, he reached out to gently rub Brett's back. Brett turned to him and smiled a bit.

"Bye Brett and Eddy," the kids shouted out the window of the car and waved at them, and Brett stood by their front door and waved until he could no longer see them before turning and stepping back inside with a sigh.

"You okay, love?" Eddy asked, pulling him into a hug once he entered the living room. Brett accepted the hug, despite really feeling like being alone for a bit.

"Yeah, yeah," he sighed. "It's just... sad to see them leave, that's all," he mumbled, only half lying.

"Thanks for taking care of them, though. I could never have handled it without you."

Brett looked up at him and kissed him quickly.
"Of course you would, but being two is definitely easier," he said with a tiny smile. "And I guess three kids is a bit much, anyway."

Eddy nodded and licked his lips before pulling Brett back into the hug.
"I feel so bad, Brett. I know you want this, and I'm keeping you from it," he whispered shakily, closing his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Heyhey, Eddy, love, it's okay. Really, love. I don't want to push having kids on you anyway," Brett mumbled, hugging him just as tightly back. "Sure, I want kids, I'll admit that, but I'm okay if you don't want that, Eddy."

Eddy wiped a single tear running down his cheek behind Brett's back before moving so he could look at him again.

"It's... It's not really that I don't want kids, really," he admitted, and Brett reached out to take his hand and pull them to the couch so they could talk more properly. "It's more... It's so hard for us... for a gay couple... to adopt or..."

"Do you not think it would be worth it, though?" Brett asked, still holding Eddy's hand. "Maybe not right now, but someday?"

Eddy looked down at their hands, Brett carefully caressing the back of his hand.
"I just... I've read all these stories of couples who grow apart waiting and hoping and..." He took a deep shaky breath. "... and I don't want that to happen to us. I don't want to lose you over it."

Brett nodded quietly, processing what Eddy had said.
"I guess I hadn't really considered that," Brett admitted, meeting Eddy's sad eyes. "That's a strong argument against it."

Eddy leaned over and kissed him softly, running his thumb softly over Brett's cheek.
"I guess you just mean so much to me, you know. I don't know if I want to risk what we have," he whispered against his lips, and Brett nodded in agreement.

"Let's forget it for now. You're more important to me right now, okay? I promise, you're more important than having kids," Brett whispered, brushing his lips against Eddy's again. "Don't feel bad about it, please."

"I'll try," Eddy replied, pressing their lips together again. He knew he couldn't promise not to.