Touch

33.

Eddy looked in disbelief at Brett's sleeping face, how some strands of hair clinged to his sweaty forehead. He wiped some of Brett's cum away from the side of his mouth, feeling more hurt than anything else. "You're expecting all that without giving me anything", he had said, prompting Eddy to give him the blowjob and yet Eddy was left there, still hard, with Brett fast asleep next to him.
For a moment he didn't know what to do with himself. It felt kind of like a betrayal, but he realized he might be reacting more to it than he normally would because of the alcohol still circulating around his system. Also, he could probably have foreseen this happening. Brett usually fell asleep when he was drunk.
After a while, he decided to go take a cold shower to calm himself before going to lay down on the couch. He didn't really feel like sleeping next to Brett that night, even though he kind of blamed himself for being so stupid.

When Brett woke up the next morning, he had no idea why he was naked from the waist down. He also had no idea why he was in Eddy's bed, especially without Eddy. Where was he? It was a very obvious hint though, the fact that he had no pants on, and he got a bit worried about the fact that Eddy was nowhere to be seen.
He grabbed his underwear from the night before and slipped it on, feeling how sticky and gross it felt and concluded that something definitely happened last night that he didn't remember. He shuffled into his bedrom, half expecting to find Eddy there. A knot tied in the bottom of his stomach when that wasn't the case, but he got himself some new clothes and headed to the bathroom to wash up quickly.

Eddy could hear Brett move around, and it made him for the most part want to cry. He wished he could forget what happened last night when he woke up, simply because he didn't want that to be their first time together that way. He didn't want Brett falling asleep after getting what must have been a bad blowjob and to be left to fend for himself afterwards. He knew Brett couldn't help falling asleep when he was as drunk as he was, but it still hurt. Unfortunately he remembered everything in vivid detail.

Brett stepped into the living room after looking for Eddy in the kitchen first, relieved to see him there on the couch.
"Morning", he said, noticing he was wearing a hoodie and sweatpants instead of the outfit from yesterday. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine", Eddy replied quietly, turning on the couch so his face would be towards the back. He didn't want Brett to see him cry.
Brett went to sit down by Eddy's legs and reached out to stroke his back gently.
"You sure? I can get you some water or food or painkillers or something?" Brett suggested, feeling that something was off. Eddy probably should have realized that Brett could tell when he wasn't actually fine. They had know each other for so long.
"No, no, I'm fine", Eddy mumbled, feeling the tears press on. He sniffled quietly, trying to keep the tears back.
"You sure, love? You don't seem fine."
A sob ripped through Eddy's body, and Brett placed his other available hand on his arm.
"What's wrong, Eddy? Talk to me, please", Brett said, feeling the knot in his stomach from tighten. "Did something happen? I don't remember much from after we left the bar..."
Eddy tried to wipe his own tears, but they just kept flowing.
"I'm sorry, I'm just overreacting. Nothing bad happened", he sobbed, trying to force his voice to sound normal through the crying. He shrugged Brett's hands off him and sat up, still trying to wipe his tears. He felt silly for crying like a kid in front of Brett.
Brett looked up at Eddy, eyes widening a bit at what looked like a massive amount of bruises going down Eddy's neck. He did of course recognize them as hickeys, but that didn't really make the fact that he was crying any better in Brett's eyes.
"What happened?" Brett asked hesitantly, not sure if he'd be able to stomach the answer if he had done something to Eddy that he didn't want.

Eddy just shrugged and looked down at his hands, feelings shameful. The thought that Brett really wasn't in a state of mind to consent hit him like a bus. What if Brett hadn't wanted that, after all? What if Eddy had been too drunk to pick up the signals? But Brett had touched him first, that must have meant something, right?
"I uh, gave you a blowjob and you fell asleep", Eddy mumbled eventually, cheeks warming up from the nature of the sentence. "But it was fine, really, it wasn't bad. I'm just overreacting." The last part was added hastily, as he didn't want Brett to worry he'd done something wrong. It had the exact opposite effect.
"Eddy, shit, I'm sorry okay? It's very obviously not fine if you're crying about it." He took off his glasses and rubbed his face hard, not really knowing what to say. A pot of guilt was brewing in his stomach. "Eddy, I'm so sorry, I..."
"I told you it wasn't bad", Eddy interrupted, biting his lip."It's fine, I promise, I just... I don't know, I didn't imagine our first time like that, you know? Drunk and... and y... you just fell asleep..." Eddy reached out to take a hold of Brett's hand, panicking slightly over the fact that Brett thought he had done something wrong. "I know you didn't mean to fall asleep, b... but it just felt so... lonely? And it's my fault anyway, for buying you all those drinks..."

Brett sat in silence, trapped in his own head, listening to Eddy's rambling. He felt awful about the whole thing, and most of all for making Eddy cry. He hadn't seen Eddy cry since they were kids, which just made it so much worse.
"Eddy", he interrupted after a while without really knowing how much time had passed. Eddy looked at him with tearful eyes that broke his heart into a million pieces. "I'm sorry that's how we had our first time. It's not your fault, okay? I should have been more responsible with my drinking, and I wish I could undo it."
Eddy shook his head hard.
"It's fine, I'm just overreacting. I'm sorry I made you worry."
Brett pulled Eddy into a hug, rubbing his back gently and feeling relieved when he hugged him back.
"I'll make the blowjob up to you at some point, okay?", Brett said with a tiny smile, trying to lighten the mood. Eddy's cheeks lit up.
"I'd like that", he mumbled embarrased and hid his reddening face in the crook of Brett's neck.