All Black Wedding

Black wedding/funeral

Chapter 13

*Crying* First things first let me start off by saying we're gathered here today to say goodbye to Skylar. It's sad to have to say goodbye to a gorgeous soul on what was suppose to be her wedding day. I'm so fucking heart broken. I miss her so fucking much. Now I have to deal with the fact that she's never coming back home to me. I really do believe that either my demons or her demons took her life. If it was my demons that caused this then I will never forgive myself and don't want to be that much alive like I am now. I can't turn to God and ask him to bring her back to me for just one more day, cause I have demons and I don't think God will understand or forgive me for all the sinning I've done. I want to pull a pet semetery, but this isn't a Stephen King movie. Damn man none of this seems real, cause it feels just like a movie, but I have to come to realize that it's not. I can't believe how I've seen her body at the morgue. She didn't just get thrown out a 2 story window, she fell on sharp rocks. One went right through her heart killing her. Her heart was on the rock which made thing's way worse. It was so sad seeing her body upside down on them rocks. Lifeless with no heart in her body. Nomore feeling any type of love or nomore feeling any kind of well anything meaningful. Skylar wasn't just going to be my wife, she was going to be the other half of my life that could never possibly end. But yet here we are with tears running down our faces and so much blood has been shed. Damn that's just a fucking mess and it's to fucking late for all of us to be happy again. Fuck why did y'all get into it? What the fuck was said for y'all to end up killing each other? I guess I'll never know until I see one of y'all first. It's no telling if I'm going to heaven or hell after all I've done. But I don't lose faith on if I'm going to heaven or not. Really doesn't matter where I go, cause I just want Skylar back in my arms. Fuck man! Why do I have to live with this hurt now? Word's can really describe how people are feeling today. Damn I'm going to miss her so fucking much. It looks like the devil finally got one of the souls that it wanted. I still can't believe today was supposed to be our wedding day, but instead it's a fucking funeral. This funeral shouldn't be happening at all. I shouldn't be here in this black suit on a sad occasion. I should be wearing this suit for our wedding. It's no telling when my time will come when I'm dead and gone, but I be damn if the devil gets my soul. Anywho that's not the point at all right now. The point is that I'll probably die in a couple week's or a month from a broken heart. But right now I have to let my favorite toxic person go for good. My heart and soul are nowhere near ready to do that. Hell why would it be ready to let her go? It's going to take my heart and brain some time to process all of this horror. I can look at another person's dead body and blood, but couldn't look at Skylar's body like the way it was. Damn it's weird how her body was so lifeless with her heart out. The fucking heart was literally out and it feels like my damn heart is out of my body too. I fucking hate the fact that I wasn't there to save them. I hate the fact that Skylar lied to me about all the places she was going that day. I don't get why she lied to me, as if I would've gotten mad. But now I'm beyond pissed, cause I lost my other half. The other half that kept me sane enough to live my life to the fullest with no doubt in my heart. Now it's goodbye till we see each other again my amazing queen. No one can or will ever take your place. I put that on my bothered soul. I'll be trapped being in love with you forever. God damn my eyes hurt like hell from crying so fucking hard these last couple of day's. I'm so fucking exhausted from crying and really just want to turn over in our bed and pull her close and get a whiff of her scent. She always smelled amazing and now I'm not going to be able to smell her scent anymore. Yeah there's thing's that's going to remind me of her scent, but my heart and brain will have tricks being played on them thinking it's her. It's sad that she finally gotten her heart back, just for it to be pushed through her chest from a sharp rock. I'm not done saying my goodbye's, but I can't stand up here all day and vent about my problems. I love you queen. I guess this is farewell for now.

*Damon closes the casket and kiss it for good*

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