The Singer's Girl

Chapter 24

CAROLINE'S POV

Going back to school after Christmas break was actually nice, my school schedule was so messed up first semester that I was just ready to start going all the time again, until Taylor's next tour started. It was good to just go from class to class and not have to say that I was going to be gone soon, or that I needed to make up stuff.

That normal day at school turned into lots of normals days at school and the days turned into weeks and suddenly January was almost over. Reflecting back, January was spent going to school, coming home, not sleeping well, and repeating. I don't think Taylor had a clue that I wasn't sleeping well, I was usually a little tired during the day, but I learned to deal with it.

I wasn't telling her mostly because I knew that if she knew about it she would want to stay up with me whenever I was up because she'd be worried, but I didn't want her to have to do that. I had a major panic attack last night, it was 15 minutes of trying to catch my breath, but not being able to. 15 minutes of hot flashes and sweating. 15 minutes of extreme worrying, all because I didn't know how to do a problem on my homework and from there everything spiraled downward, all the issues I have in life bundled up into one 15 minute panic attack, that ended up taking 2 hours to calm down from enough so I could get to sleep.

So yeah, I had a lot of anxiety in me. If it wasn't as far as a panic attack, it was still a worry keeping me awake.

Who would walk me down the aisle at my wedding? How do I even know I'm going to have a wedding? What if I never get married? Will Taylor ever get married? If she has kids will she forget about me? Will I become her second choice? Will I like her husband? Will I have to consider him a dad? I hope not.

Those kind of things were the things I worried about, and I realize that it's so far into the future that it's ridiculous, but I couldn't help but worry about the future. When my dad died I felt so out of control of my life, I didn't know what was going to happen to me. I didn't know if I was going to stay with Taylor or if she was going to have me leave. I didn't know how I'd make it without parents, it had no feeling of security in my life, so worrying about the future has become pretty natural.

Now it was January 30th and it was a Friday and Taylor picked me up from school. Since my 16th birthday was on Sunday we had our whole weekend already planed out. Last weekend is had a party with some of my friends, because this weekend I'd be going on a road trip to the smoky mountains with Taylor. The smoky mountains were in eastern Tennessee and it took about 3 hours to get there from Nashville, so we were planning on going up tonight so we could have all day tomorrow and most of the day Sunday.

"Hey girl." Taylor said with a smile as I got into her car.

"Hey Taylor." I said, putting my school stuff by my feet. She drove us home and I put my things in my room and grabbed my suitcase that Taylor helped me pack last night and took it downstairs where Taylor was waiting for me with her suitcase.

The drive there was peaceful. The radio wasn't on and Taylor and I were just talking. Trees surrounded the interstate and the leaf-less branches were holding snow. 2 and a half hours in when we were finally getting close to were we were staying it was dark out, and Taylor had me get out her phone and find the directions to the place we were staying. So I navigated while Taylor drove and we only got lost once, but we eventually arrived at the hotel we were staying at.

It was less of a hotel and more of a lodge type place. It was still really nice, it was just different. When we got to our room it had one big bed in the center with clean white sheets and a log-cabin looking headboard. We put our suitcases down and Taylor suggested that we go get supper, since it was already a little past 7.

Taylor drove us to one of the only restaurants in the small town and we both ordered burgers. The restaurant didn't have very many people in it, but Taylor always seemed to attract people, so before our food even got to us the restaurant was full and there was a line that wrapped around the place leading to our booth.

Taylor was really nice so of course she met everyone and took pictures with them, but when our food came Taylor's body guard that had followed us here told the people that were left that they could get pictures after and we were going to eat now. Everybody went back to go sit down and started eating my food. I didn't really say anything to Taylor about it because what was there to be said? We all knew that this would probably happen.

Eventually Taylor and I started talking and before long we were finished and the waiter was bringing us our bill. Taylor paid and her body guard went to go find the people who didn't get to meet her. They came back and crowded around our table. This always happened when I was out with Taylor, so sometimes I just liked to stay home with her instead. I scrolled trough Twitter as Taylor talked to everyone and took pictures, when she had finally met everyone I didn't even notice, I was still on my phone.

"Care, come on." Taylor said and I looked up to see her standing there waiting for me. I got up out of the booth and started following Taylor out.

"I'm sorry about that." Taylor said once we were outside, I didn't say anything because I didn't know what to say, the last time I can remember her apologizing for something like this was probably when I first started living with her. We got into the car and the radio was playing one of Taylor's songs.

So we jammed all the way back to the hotel and that put me in a better mood for the night, although that night I didn't sleep very well. I was all curled up next to Taylor under the covers just thinking and she had already fallen asleep. It was still winter so it was a little cold, this is why I kept moving closer to her and trying to get more covers on my side. And at one point I must've gotten a little too close because Taylor woke up with a gasp.

"Caroline? Are you okay?" She asked into the darkness and gave her some more space.

"Why are you still awake, sweetie? It's 1am." She said in a tired voice.

"Hmm?" She asked when I didn't answer.

"I don't know." I mumbled.

"Are you just having trouble sleeping? Or did something happen?" She asked and even though I didn't want her to know it would be easier to tell her the truth just this one time.

"I can't sleep." I said and she pulled me in just as close as I was when she woke up because I was too close, then she kissed me on the head.

"I'm sorry." She whispered to me while she was hugging me. I tried to go asleep now, now that I was laying my head on Taylor's shoulder and she was holding onto me. I didn't have anything to worry about now, I felt secure here and I was finally able to get good sleep. I thought that maybe I should start telling Taylor about the whole sleeping thing, but my gut instinct still said no.