My Body, Our Baby

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This chapter is dedicated to Siqulill. She's a loyal reader and has been since she found my first story. She always has something uplifting to say about my chapters and always makes me feel good about my writing. Thank you. 

I couldn't believe what my boyfriend had just told me. My head was spinning. Was this real?

"I'm fucking pregnant?!" I screamed.

"Shhhh!" Joe cautioned as he put his hands on my shoulders. "Do NOT let my parents hear you, Valentina!"

"Oh, well I am so sorry but this is sort of a big deal, Joe!" I snapped back.

"I know, I know! We can figure this out. I- I can figure it out. I got us into this mess. My parents would help us...I'm sure." Joe was now speaking in an extremely hushed tone.

"You knew what had happened and you even did research on the internet and yet you waited until I got back to the U.S. to tell me that there is literally a person growing inside of me!" I whispered angrily.

"I-I'm so sorry, babe..."

"Sorry? Sorry? Is that all you're going to keep saying? How about give me some ideas on what we do here?" I questioned him, becoming annoyed.

"Ok, well I guess we should do some research first on actual pregnancy-" He started but I interrupted.

"You haven't already, Joe?!"

"Well, no...I-I only looked up the condom stuff and...I don't know why I didn't tell you or do more research once I knew there was a chance you could be pregnant..." Joe told me as he looked down at the carpet. I could feel the shame coming from his soul.

"Joe..." I said quietly as the tears began to form. I covered my face. I could feel Joe embrace me.

"It'll be okay, Valentina. I promise-"

I pushed him away from me out of anger.

"You don't know that, though! You have no idea if it will be "okay". Joe, this isn't some normal, little mistake. You got me pregnant and said nothing!"

After I said this, I noticed a change in Joe's eyes.

"Oh. I see. So, it was just me that night? You had no part in it?" He replied with snark.

"Joe, don't you even go there! Yes, there were two of us. Yes, it take two to do this. But, YOU are the one who knew that your condom had ripped and you knew what it meant! Don't try to turn this around right now."

"Look, I'm sorry. That was a shitty thing of me to say. I just - I'm so mad at myself for fucking up like this. Listen, tell me what you want to do. What would make you most comfortable right this moment? It's about you, ok? What is the first step you want to take. Whatever it is - I will support it." Joe told me, stepping closer to me again. His expression had softened back up and he looked apologetic.

What did I really want to do? I knew. I was afraid to say it out loud though.

I began to twiddle my thumbs out of nervousness. Then, I began pacing.

"Valentina?" Joe said my name softly in a concerned tone.

I stopped and turned around to face him.

"Well, the condom ripping and then me missing periods after that...pretty much screams that I'm pregnant, right?" I asked my boyfriend.

He nodded his head.

"Well, I..." I let my voice drift off. I was scared to say what I wanted to do.

"What? Tell me what it is, sweetheart. Do you know what you want to do?" Joe asked, rubbing my arm smoothly.

"Y-yes." I replied quietly without making eye contact.

"Ok, what is it? It's alright. Just tell me and I'll have your back. Even if it's telling my parents right now, I'll support you." Joe assured me.

"Joe?"

"Yes, tell me."

"I-I need to...to get an abortion." I finally looked up into his eyes to see them both bigger than the moon outside of his window. His mouth slowly opened.

"A w-what?" He questioned, his voice even cracking.

"Joe..."

"Valentina, no. Please, not that."

"You said you would support me." I argued, getting upset at his refusal.

"You can't just abort our baby. I can't let you do that." He said, folding his arms and shaking his head.

Something in that statement hit a nerve - "let" me?

"Um, excuse me? Let me? This is my body!"

"Yes, but it's our baby!"

"Joe, you aren't even being realistic. We can't raise a baby and we can't just put all of the burden of raising the child on your parents. You know that isn't right." I challenged.

"Yes, well maybe I also don't think it's right to kill an innocent baby..." He responded.

"Joe, please don't use that word." I said. 

"What? "Kill"? That's what it is, though, isn't it? I just didn't think that's something you would ever want to do." He explained. I could tell he was getting angry. I didn't like when Joe got angry.

"Joe. We will discuss this in the morning. I'm going back to Mary's room and am going to get ready for bed." I said as I made my way to the door. Joe grabbed my arm.

"Don't tell anyone about this, okay?" He pleaded with me.

I sighed. "I won't."

Joe nodded. "Listen, I love you. No matter what, I love you." He told me as he gave me a kiss.

"I love you too..." I responded quietly. "Goodnight, Joe."

"Goodnight, Valentina. I'm glad you're back." He said as I was walking out of his door.

He was glad I was back. I was happy to be back at first, but now...

How I wish I could rewind the clock before I knew all of this.

Our last year of school starts in two weeks.

There is a 99% chance there is a baby growing inside of me.

I'm a kid about to have a kid and can't even make my own choice on what I want to do (contrary to what Joe had said at first).

As I walked into Mary's room, I noticed she wasn't there. She must have gone to the bathroom.

I got in the bed and stared up at the ceiling.

An idea came into my head.

Perhaps I could still make my own decision.

It would involve me seeking help from someone I have not spoken to in months - someone I have no desire to even see.

Joe just...didn't have to know.

Was he wrong?

Or am I wrong in what I am thinking right now?



Merry Christmas Eve / Feliz Nochebuena

Thanks for reading, everybody! Hope you enjoyed! (Sorry if this chapter was a bit on the short side)

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