Infinite Sadness

Jackal Squad Auditions

The next day, at Eggman's lair, Tails reads a flier to his buddy, Sonic.

"Round one of Jackal Squad try outs today! Come audition to be a part of my newest evil band of villains. Those deemed worthy will have a chance to join me in my next face off against Sonic and his dingus friends. Free crumpets to all who attend. Love, Doctor Eggman."

"Ya don't think anyone's actually gonna try out for this?" smirks the blue hedgehog. "And what's with the title? Jackal Squad? What's that all about, huh?"

"Maybe Eggman's building a new line of robots," suggests the two-tailed fox. "Sure seems random though. You know this is probably a trap, right?"

"Duh, that's beyond obvious!" Sonic laughs.

They enter and hide, catching a glimpse of an ending audition.

"Next!" Eggman calls out, annoyed as Dave the Intern stumbles, trying to do a round house kick.

"Come on, gimmie a chance!" Dave pleas. "I kidnapped you one time, you know I'm bad!"

"No, get out!" Eggman commands.

Zero stands and motions Eggman to shut up.

"Be quiet for once, Doctor Eggman. What else can you do, young bandit?" he asks Dave.

"Pst, Sonic, who is that?" Tails whispers.

"No idea," Sonic whispers back. "Is that the Damn Fourth Chaos Emerald in his chest?"

"I can do lots of things!" Dave the Intern tells Zero. "One time I set off a Doomsday Device that almost destroyed the universe. Then there was the time I ransacked this lair and jacked Eggman's Octopus bot!"

"You failed at both of those things!" Eggman points out.

"Hmm," Zero thinks, "you seem determined, what was it... Dave the Intern? Whose intern?"

"Mine!" Eggman gloats, "until he turned out to be completely useless!"

"Hey, I'm not useless! I can be evil, I can be rotten! You'll see! I'll prove it to you!"

"Alright, that's enough," Zero motions with his palm.

"Please give me a chance, Mr. Jackal," Dave begs with his hands clasped. "I promise I won't let you down."

Eggman shrugs Dave off like a bothersome fly.

"Oh please, as I was saying... NEXT!"

"Phase two it is," Zero announces.

"Really, I get to move on to the next round?!" Dave joyfully cries.

"You can't be serious," Eggman shouts, hopping to his feet with exasperation.

Dave runs up to Zero and shakes his hands enthusiastically.

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! This'll be my big break, I just know it!"

"Yeah yeah, settle down," Zero replies. "We'll talk at the next meeting."

"Yes, Sir!" Dave salutes, then runs out of the lair with glee.

"Lame," Sonic says to Tails. "We both know Dave isn't the scariest guy on the block."

"That jackal looks tough," Tails notes. "Wonder why he's taking a chance on someone so incapable."

Eggman and Zero sit.

"Arg, I hope you know what you're doing. The last thing I want is to look like an idiot in front of Sonic."

"Too late for that," Sonic giggles.

He and Tails cover their mouths, trying not to snicker too loudly.