Sometimes I feel like a complete waste of space. Like if just disappeared, no one would really care. I mean, I'm just a financial burden on my family. I was on instagram earlier, I saw this thing about drawing a butterfly on your arm whenever you had the urge to cut or self harm or whatever. I'm kinda tempted to do it. At the same time, I know I would fail. You name the butterfly after a loved one. I know that I would name it after my best friend, Stephanie, in a heartbeat. But if I cut, even the slightest, the butterfly dies. But I also don't want my friends to find a butterfly on my arm and ask a bunch of questions. They don't need to know that I cut. Or that I found out about the butterfly thing a day after I nearly attempted suicide. I would just become even more of an emotional burden to them. I don't envelope know why they still put up with me.
Done with life atm,
A lost cause
