BCF: Wish Upon A Star (Namjin)

Plastic. . . Ken Doll?: 남준

NAMJOON FLINCHED AWAKE to his sister's screaming. He threw his body out of bed and stumbled to her room.

"Min! What is it? What's wrong?!"

Min spun to look at him. "He broke up with me!"

Namjoon blinked, watching her as she stomped around her room.

"The bastard really had the nerve! I knew he was fucking that plastic-cheeked-asian-Ken doll! The absolute nerve!"

Namjoon felt his head was splitting into two. His drowsiness hadn't yet worn off from the sleeping pills he took. "Plastic..... Ken doll?"

"Hoseok you idiot! That goddamn man whore!" She threw herself on the bed and thrashed around as if she was ten years younger.

He wiped the saliva from the corner of his mouth using his thumb. "Can you slow down for a second?"

Min looked up with a glare that could slit his throat if weaponized. "Can you fuck off forever?"

"Why are you being such an adolescent brat?"

"Why are you being such a vile jackass?!"

"Why are you such an oversized five-year-old?!"

"Why are you such a horrible brother?!"

"Why are you such a bitch?!"

At that moment, Min looked very much like their mother. Her hard expression melted and her eyes conveyed an indescribable emotion between hurt and heartbreak. Namjoon had never known his mother to be a woman of emotion, but when he had said something painfully insulting, she would show a precise resemblance.

He had to look away as he sat down. "I'm sorry. Can I do anything for you?"

The trace of his mother had vanished from his sister, and the childish anger reintroduced itself as she hit his arm. "No! Just go away!"

Namjoon knew all too well that if a girl told him to leave, she really wanted him to stay. And so he laid in bed and spooned her. Though she put up a bit of a fight, it was a weak one, and she eventually nestled herself into his arms.

They were silent for a few minutes.

Then Min said, "Are you and Jin-oppa okay?"

"I don't know," he replied. "We're trying to talk things out."

"Maybe instead of making him feel like he's the soul reason for your suffering, you can reaffirm your positive feelings for him," she said.

"Have I really been like that?" he said.

"Yes," she replied. "And it's time he knows it's just you being an ungrateful dick and has nothing to do with him."

Yoona was four months now. Namjoon could feel it in her fat little body.

Jin whispered, "Is she asleep now?"

He nodded and stood up just as Jin was reaching out for her. "I got her. Don't worry."

He proceeded to her room and gently lowered her into her crib. He watched her face for a moment. Despite the dark skin, she resembled much of Jin while she slept. Her lips parted, eyebrows relaxed, and the state of her expression empty and peaceful.

He met up back with Jin in the kitchen.

"Hey," he said.

Jin smiled tiredly. "I'm sorry."

Namjoon furrowed his eyebrows. "For what?"

At that moment, tears began to pour down his boyfriend's cheeks. "Being so difficult. I know by now you've probably grown tired of me."

Namjoon sighed. "That is not true. I've stuck with you this long, haven't I?"

Instantly he regretted his response. Jin had looked up at him with a pained, familiar look. His eyes held anticipation as if this was a movie scene they had seen various times before and always forgot the ending. It was a look of uncertain prediction for a reoccurring result. And Namjoon realized why he had such an emotional gaze at that moment.

"You think I'm going to leave you again," Namjoon said, "Like I did all those times before."

Jin remained silent.

Namjoon then said with difficulty, "And this time I have a feeling if I were to, you wouldn't chase me down as you did before."

He was now crying softly. "You're so young, Namjoon. This is my burden—"

Namjoon grabbed his face and kissed him passionately, tasting his salty tears. Jin's hands found their way to his waist and his fingers curled around his sides. Just as always, Namjoon pictured them two on the beach. Yoona in Jin's arms, the boys sitting on the sand, the others playing in the water. He could feel the mud rub up against the skin in between his toes. This was his paradise. And he knew only Jin could take him there.

He pulled away and stared into his eyes. "I'm not who I was then. I'm nineteen years old and I've got my whole life ahead of me. And I intend to keep you in it. And if we need to go to therapy every month, if I have to sit with the baby from midnight to the ass crack of dawn I'll do it. But I'm not letting you go. No matter what we've been through you never gave up on us. Now it's my turn, okay? You can lean on me, Hyung. You can crawl into my lap and I'll hold you until my arms fall off. Okay? Enough with that nonsense."

The pained look in his eyes had been relieved. "I love you so much."

"And I love you. And I will continue to love you, in our worst times, and in our best."

His lip quivered. Namjoon wondered how someone can look so beautiful with a wet puffy face.

And then Jin pulled him into a deep kiss. One where Namjoon felt his lips disappear and at one point become one with Jin's. And at another point, he picked his elder up and carried him into the bedroom. And he was relieved to find that the execution of their love between the sheets had been restored.