BCF: Wish Upon A Star (Namjin)

Precious: 남준, 태형

NAMJOON HAD NEVER seen Jin so hysterical. To be frank, he'd never seen himself to that same extent of hysterics either. The entire time from the call to practically bursting down the hospital doors, all he could feel was the pounding of his heart and the chilling temperature of his blood.

Now, he sat in the waiting room with his hands folded next to Jin. It was just the two of them, though he experienced an ironic lonesome feeling. He wouldn't have been surprised if Jin was stomaching the exact same thing. However, looking over at him, Namjoon couldn't help but let fear throw off any other emotions that were eating at him. Jin was hunched over, picking and pulling on his cuticles, elbows resting on his knees. He stared at his nails with eyes wide and still, as if they were whispering something to him. Namjoon hesitantly rested a hand on his shoulder, and, at feeling Jin flinch at his touch, involuntary jumped himself.

"Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"No." Jin sighed and sat back, running his fingers through his hair. "I'm glad you pulled me out of my head."

Namjoon shifted in his seat uncomfortably, his buttocks sore from the hard surface of his chair. "What did the doctors say?"

Jin gave him a shake of the head. "It's bad, Namjoon. Jungkook"—he blinked back his tears—"is in critical condition. Taehyung is not much better off." He put his head in his hands. "How the fuck did this happen? How the fuck did this happened under our roof, Namjoon?"

Namjoon bit his lip. "Baby."

Jin perked up and Namjoon knew that he was aware of how rarely he used that nickname. The last time he called him Baby was Jin's birthday ten months ago. Namjoon and his lover were swaying to Christmas music on that snowy evening, slightly tipsy from the wine. Nothing monumental happened to motivate such a sound full of love. Just a smile from his hyung and a little bit of happiness.

"Happy birthday, baby," Namjoon blurted out in a soft, sweet tone that even surprised himself.

He could visibly see the change of expression on his boyfriend's doll face——pleasant surprise, realization, and then pure bliss.

Seeing him now, his light brown hair tousled, poking out in every direction. His eyes red and puffy, nose and cheeks naturally pink. His skin having lost it's tan and now becoming a dull, pale glow due to lack of sleep. He looked lost. Defeated. His lips were parted awkwardly, as if his tongue wasn't moving fast enough for all the thoughts racing in his head to be spoken. Still, even in such a state of distress, he looked beautiful. So distractingly beautiful, Namjoon felt a little guilty for admiring him at a time like this.

Upon hearing his Baby, Jin looked ready to let it all go, to break down right then and there and melt in his boyfriend's arms. In that moment, Namjoon was close to embracing him. However, like a switch, his expression completely fell into an unreadable numbness. Whatever he was trying to roll off his tongue was now blocked by the sealing of his lips. His shoulders slumped, though he maintained a straight posture. He suspected Jin was mentally conversing with his emotional alter ego and his logical one. A conversation Namjoon did not know how to be a part of.

"Don't," was all he said.

And Namjoon found himself able to translate what that meant fairly quickly: I'm trying really hard to keep it together and if you continue cooing me I will lose it.

He hesitated to voice his next question. "What—" He stopped promptly in his tracks, coming close to forgetting the thought altogether. For some reason, however, he felt obligated to continue. "What can I do?"

Jin seemed to deliberate his question for some time. For most of that deliberation he kept the same lost expression and Namjoon watched in helpless suspense as he awaited his response.