BCF: Wish Upon A Star (Namjin)

A Lynching: 남준

NAMJOON NOTICED JIN playing with his engagement ring.

"What is it?" He asked.

Jin sighed. "I have everything I could ever want. We've debuted. I'm engaged to the man I love. We finally have our financial earnings stabilized. No more scrapping for straws. And yet with our little girl fighting for her life and I am left helpless, I——I couldn't be more forlorn."

Namjoon nodded in agreement. "I know."

Jin's eyes were fixed on Yoona, who was fast asleep in her hospital bed. "The hardest part isn't losing her. The hardest part is not being able to control whether I do or not."

Namjoon fixed his gaze on his daughter as well. "You know, when I signed the adoption papers, the thought of being a parent hadn't set it. It hadn't—I mean the emotions hadn't settled in. In fact I felt numb." At this point Jin's gaze had shifted onto Namjoon, but he remained fixated on Yoona's small pale face. "But since then this whole parenting thing, it didn't hit me all at once. It came in bits and pieces. In moments. In—I don't know—tantrums and laughs and tears. It came in hugs and lollipops. It came in bedtime stories and time-outs. This realization that I was a parent when her preschool teacher referred to me as 'Dad' for the first time. Moments like that. But now, all of those moments and that realization that came so, so gently. Those moments that just gradually fell into place. It's hitting me now like a ton of bricks." He took a shaky breath, pointlessly blinking away stubborn tears. "It's hitting like a ton of bricks, hyung and—I—I don't want to stop being a dad. I don't want to be childless. I don't want to be without her."

Jin pulled him into an embrace as he allowed his floodgates to open.

"I know, my love," Jin said with a trembling voice, caressing his head. "Listen to me. Our daughter came into our lives because we needed her. And God wouldn't take her if we still did."

"God my ass," he said through his tears.

Jin laughed softly. "Fine. The Universe. Allah. Mother Nature. Whatever is running the show up there."

"How can you be sure something's out there? That some big sky daddy is looking down on us?"

Jin laughed again. "I just think things fall into place too well to just be a bunch of atoms and molecules coincidentally forming to connect with each other."

Namjoon sniffled and smiled. "Yeah. I suppose."

Suddenly, Yoona's small body began jolting in vibrating fits. Namjoon felt his soul nearly leave his body as jumped to seek a doctor.  Jin's cries ironically became louder the farther Namjoon ran from that dreadful room.

5 MONTHS LATER

"Yoona, pick up your toys please."

Namjoon smiled at Jin. "Remember how that used to annoy the hell out of us?"

He looked at Namjoon as he made his way over to the living room. "What? Her leaving the toys everywhere?" He scoffed. "Still does. But I suppose I don't feel as much of an urge to overreact."

Yoona's small feet slapped against the wood as she came running in. "Yes, Mommy."

Jin frowned. He bit his lip as he battled with himself before going over to Yoona.

Immediately, Namjoon understood that it was time.

The elder kneeled in front of her and took a deep breath. "Caterpillar, do you remember why I let you call me Mommy instead of Daddy?"

Yoona blinked and her doe eyes wandered in search of an answer. "Mmm. Oh, yeah! Because I was sad that I didn't have a mommy and my friends teased me. But then you told me that you're my Mommy!"