Married At Nineteen

Chapter Thirty-eight

I didn't realize when I slept last night since all I could remember was shutting my eyes tight and holding my pillow to myself with the attempt to shut out the bad memory imprinted on my mind from the fight.

It was ten in the morning and no call from Chris and that's how days blossomed and tilted without even a text. I was still upset with him but I couldn't help the anger fading with every second of a day.

Just as I had expected, news about Elsie had been scandalized all over social media. That only made me feel guilty for I should have never told Chris about her and her deeds towards me. That way, none of these would have happened keeping it to myself.

But his words of encouragement would have never been heard and forever I would have felt like scrap metal. He had always been there for me. I knew that well but he was happily hurting someone for me which wasn't right.

It was not until one night after work that I met him waiting for me outside the house. I really needed to give him the house keys.

I watched his expression through his eyes and then I was able to pick one book out of a mixture of emotions and read. He was scared. I expected him to be after what he had done. I knew he was just as guilty.

Walking a few inches towards him, I stopped and looked him in the eye. His gaze didn't falter and so did mine.

"Feeling guilty, aren't you?" I said, assuming that was how he felt but he ran a hand down his face without saying a word.

"Can we talk inside?" He asked calmly. I gave him a nod and made for the lock.

Plopping down on the sofa, I watched as he sat across from me like I was a contagious disease he was trying to avoid. That's when I knew I missed those times he would hold my hands and I would lay my head on his shoulder pretending to be getting tired just so I could be close to him. Times when I felt his arms around me in a warm embrace. All those reminisces coming back to me at the wrong time.

"Yes I do realize I made a mess but.... " He trailed off.

"But what?" I inquired.

He exhaled slowly, rubbing his hands together. "But I can't help but feel she deserved it." He was not being serious. Is this what he came to tell me?

"Are you kidding me? You're not remorseful even the slightest?" I asked, shaken, my eyes searching for an answer in his eyes but couldn't find since the light was dim.

"I am. At least I did a good thing letting the poor guy know his young gorgeous girlfriend was certainly not into him. It saved him a lot of future lies." He said, pointing out his defense lines for me to hear.

"That didn't seem like the best approach because he definitely was going to be made fun of and you know how people work."

"And besides she was going to embarrass you with similar thing. She never thought I would be affected too, did she? That would have caused a great deal of bad news for us in general including parents because you know we are legal."

When he put it that way, slowly I was beginning to think Elsie really deserved it all because she was too inconsiderate and selfish. "Still I feel guilty about it all." I confessed.

Chris stood up and sat adjacent to me, taking my hands in his. "Honestly I feel very guilty so please let me bear it alone." He said and I snapped my gaze to him.

"You said you didn't, what-"

"I lied.. Truthfully I'm afraid." He finally confessed what I had suspected, letting go of my hands. He held his head as if in pain. I held his hands and took them away from his face.

"I'm afraid I'm turning into someone else. I was never into revenge." He said, his eyes fixed on a spot on the floor. "All my life I lived trying to avoid the path my sister took and some people once closest to me."

I saw his point then. We're humans with discrete instincts and he's been avoiding the fatal ones.

"I was afraid of you though." I said.

He looked up at me with surprise written all over his face. "Because I was vengeful?" He asked, a little taken aback.

I nodded. "Within these few years we'll be together, I was afraid you'll get so used to me as a brother to his sister and then won't hesitate to take it out on me if anything went south." As I said those, I cringed at how true those words were. Not really the anger part but the part we made a deal about leaving each other when time was right.

Not hearing anything from him, I glanced up at him and found him looking a bit shocked at me. He shook his head and looked away. "First of all I don't hit women if that's what you're inferring. Secondly I don't unnecessarily hurt a woman emotionally especially if she's under my care. That's what my father taught me but I learned that indirectly from him. I know you guys are quite a handful as with my past experiences but it doesn't help playing the same card. Elsie is the first I've hurt like that only because she deserved it."

I stared at him, his sadness damping my spirit. "I'm sorry for saying those words to you. Dragging your sister through soil to the argument was very rude of me."

"It was your small attempt to keep me shut and it worked." He said, adding a light breezy laughter to it. If only he knew his smiles worked miracles with my mind. The more I made myself fall for him, the more I knew I would be hurting myself. At least I'm sure he still loves his ex but what about me? I couldn't be the jealous wife who just sits in the corner and watches her husband lose his mind over another woman while still bearing his surname. I had to go ahead with my plans as soon as possible.

***

Blake's relationship with me didn't quite suck but he remained him which was what I liked about him. I went on to tell him about the incident with Elsie and how sour things were between us.

"Although I dislike that dude, I must appreciate his approach. Makes sense." He said but seeing my expression, he rolled his eyes. "Come on, the stupid girl deserved it. She is so immature and jealous. Trust me I would have done worse."

I laughed at his words, obviously mocking him. He doesn't know what he was saying until he meets her. "You'd be wishing to clean her shoes once you see her just so she can at least take a glance of you."

He scoffed, "I've dealt with way more prettier girls and I don't think she'll be worth my time." I didn't know what to say to him with the seriousness in his tone.

"I still say not until you meet her." I corrected. I knew what I was saying because even Chris commented on her looks when he was apologizing. 'Young gorgeous girlfriend' he said.

Blake was fun when he wanted to and flirty when he felt like pissing me off and serious when the topic wasn't even too serious itself.

One thing was settled for the mean time - there was no one threatening me to spill the beans. At least for the rest of the six months left.

................

Very (very) short chapter I know but it's at least a break from the long chapters I've been writing. Can't wait for you to follow me experience more adventures ahead.

Happy weekend everyone.

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--DDCARDIN